Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Ever since we moved in six years ago, we have hated a certin tree in our yard. This certin tree litters pine cones by massive propotions on a daily basis onto our driveway and the road in frount of our house. Well, finally, today, we got rid of that sucker! Some guys came on over and choped that sappy piece of pine to the ground. When the men first came, I went out to talk to them. Lauren was dressed in a fairy costume. They looked at her and said "Oh, your a little princess." Lauren replied "Yeah (in a bored dismissive tone). Um, but, I am a little nervous about this tree. Are you going to cut it right so it won't fall on my house?" It was cute. The guy just looked a little suprised that this was coming out of someone so small. He said "Yeah, we'll be carefull." Then Lauren said, "OK. Are you sure you know what your doing?" Haha. The guy told me that he has never heard a little girl talk that grown up before. She is a funny girl.

Here is the guy choping some notches into the tree. They were very good. They had one guy choping and two guys in the road to watch for cars and people.

And down she comes! It really did make a cracking noise like it does in the movies. Our next door neighbors were out watching and so were our neighbors across the street. It was pretty cool to watch it come down.

Then they all converged on the tree and started cutting off the branches with their chain saws.

While the tree was being chain sawed into little poratable peices, I went across the street and talked for a little bit with my neighbor. She has two little boys. Her youngest is a year older then Lauren. Connor gave Lauren rides on the back of his bike. Yep. I totally saw my future right before my eyes. My little girl, riding away from me on the back of some guys bike.

Heaven help me with all those boys and their bikes. After a couple of hours the work was done.

How does it look? Very nice, yes? (I totally thought that in Borats voice, so when you read it you have to do it with the Borat voice). They were three of some of the hardest working guys I have seen in a long time. They did an excellent job. They were fast and efficent. If anyone needs to have a tree cut down-we would totally recomend these guys. And one last picture that has nothing to do with today but it is just so stinkin' cute.

This is how Lauren fell asleep last night. One minute she was gabbing away about I don't know what. I went into the kitchen for something and when I came out, I saw Lauren asleep in this crazy position. And yes, I totally get that she is wearing the exact same dress. She has worn it now for three days straight. I am going to pry it off of her tonight if it is the last thing I do. I love how they have there favorite little outfits :)

A Whole lotta Randomness

Riddle me this...What do you get when you give a couple of teenagers a camera and let them have at it?

I got these pictures off of my Mother-in-laws camera. These are my cute neices, Sammie and Rylee (and the one picture has my nephew D.J in it). They are a crack up!
When we went to Las Vegas, we were able to go to dinner with Mimi and Pop Pop. It was alot of fun. Lauren and Evan love their Mimi and Pop Pop so much. (and so does Chad and I).

I was walking up the stairs yesterday and in my way was a little girl and her little cat. It looked so cute, I had to run and grab my camera.

As you can proboly see in the last pictures, Sydney has a new summer hair cut. Every year, we get our two little cats shaved for the summer. They love the haircut after they get it, but they hate the whole process. Our cat Sydney is very fiesty for such a little cat. When we walked in the door after their haircut, the first thing that Sydney saw was our dog Radley. She ran to Radley and jumped her. Hissing and meowing. Poor Radley just sat in the corner with her head down and her tail between her legs untill Sydney was done with her temper tantrum. It really was so funny to watch. (Don't worry, Sydney doesn't had any claws).

Here is Sydney atacking poor Radley.

Sydney's new haircut..

and Gracie's new haircut.

Chad is such a good Daddy. He is so cute with Lauren and Evan. I think all the time that I am lucky to have married someone who likes to play with my kids. Yesterday we were all hanging out in the back yard when Lauren saw a "tomato bug". Chad got down on the ground with them and played with the bugs for awhile. It was really cute.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

An Empty Mailbox

As I walked to the mail box today, my stomach played host to a swarm of butterflies taking flight. I was very anxious. Why would the mundane task of retrieving your mail bring on so much unease, you ask? It is because over a week ago I finally got up the courage to write a letter to my mom. A five page letter. Such a long letter. But one that was full of all of the emotion and self-truth that I held deep inside the hurt I carried around for almost 4 years now. It couldn't have been a quick note, even if that is all I wanted to author. I poured my soul into that letter. It took many hours of tears and prayers to finish that letter. I put my heart on paper, stuffed it into an envelope, and sent it off in the mail. No matter the hurt my mom caused, the realizations about the relationship I thought I had, the years of silence, the confusion, through all of that-I still want a mom. Because any kind of mom is better then no mom at all.

I held Evan in my arms today. His whole body curved into mine as I comforted him. His tears soaked into my shirt. After a few moments of soft whispers and tight hugs, he was fine. He crawled off my lap and went back to his temporary forgotten task of playing. I love that boy so much. Who knew that these little people that we bring into this world could have such a hold on our hearts. My life will forever be tangled up with Lauren and Evan-and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have got to think that my mom thinks the same about me and my siblings. I have to feel that she held me and dryed my tears. She must have looked on me as I tossed sand around in the sandbox and felt for sure that there was no way she could do with out my laughter and tears in her life. I have to, or ealse it just hurts to much. But if I believe that, the this separation, this estrangement that has icked it's way into our world makes no sense at all.

I walked to that mailbox. My heart was full of fear and hope. I fear a response and I hope for one all at the same time. I fear and I hope for an empty mailbox at the same time. I am scared of what she could say and I yearn to know what she is thinking. I have opened a can of worms by sending her that letter. I know that there are things I said in it that she would be hurt by, things she would disagree with, but they are my truths. I know that if she decides to respond, there will be things in her rebuttal that I strongly disagree with. But even so, shouldn't there be a first step? And isn't the first step always the hardest to take? I fear a relationship with my mom and I hope for it. I fear and I hope. That is all I do when I think of my mom. Fear and hope.

In case you were wondering, my mailbox was empty today. I first felt relived. I have been granted a stay for at least one more day. But then that relife was met with sorrow. It has been over a week. A week with an empty mailbox.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Friendship Park

We just got back from Friendship Park. It is so stinkin hot!!! What am I doing in Utah again? I need to be in California with the nice cool Ocean breeze and the beach. Oh I love and miss the beach sooo much. We could have gone to Point Dume instead of Friendship Park. "Universe! Do you hear me! I am ordering up a move to Calabasas so I can go to the beach everyday!" It hasn't worked yet, the secret. I have been ordering up a move to California for a couple of years now. Apperently, the universe put us on back order. I totally got off track, back to the park. We met up with my friend Aimee and her super cute little girls. Lauren loves Hailee and Kallie. We only stayed for a couple of hours, but it was so hot. It was fun though.

Evan and I on the swings. I love my little boy!! Who knew that boys were so tender hearted and sweet?

It amazes me all the time, the capasity that Lauren and Evan both have to love unconditionally. They give there love away like it is going out of style-only it never does. It is this never ending wealth of love.

Lauren loves Hailee. She is always asking when she can play with her again. And they play so cute together. I had the opportunity to get to know Hailee a little more because I got to be her sunbeams teacher. She is so cute and says the funniest things. Her and Lauren really do get along so good and have alot in common. Arn't they cute!

It got so hot that the kids just wanted to be in the shade. They started to breakdown. That is when we knew it was time to head on home.

You almost can't tell from the back that all three girls were having a melt down. Haha, so funny. It was fun though. Tomarow should be fun as well. We get to go swimming again with Lauren's cousins! Yeay!

Random Stuff.

I love being a mother! I have said before, and I will say it again, my favorite thing is to watch the relationship between Lauren and Evan grow and deepen. It is true that as I listen to them play, I hear screams of protest, crying and an occational "no no buddy." But then laughter always follows that. They really do love each other. It is so rewarding to see the love they share for each other. The other night, I got to see a little bit of that love they have for each other. Evan was on the couch "reading" books. (both Lauren and Evan love books. That is one trait that they inherited from me. They definatly didn't get that from Chad). Lauren crawled up on the couch and started "reading" to Evan. (she had a lot of her books memorized) I ran and grabed my camera. Because, as all of you other mothers know, those moments can last all night long-or they could be over in a matter of seconds with one or both children in tears. It was one of those moments that as a mother, my heart swelled and I just sighed-So stinkin cute!! I feel bad for all of those kids out there that are only children. They miss out so much.

Yesterday, we went to the Treehouse Museum. It was the first time that Evan could walk around and play. He was nervous most of the time. He wouldn't let me put him down. I think he was thinking that it was like nursery. I would put him in frount of a fun toy and then sneak out. I am sure he was thinking "I know this trick, and you are not going to put me down and leave me here!" (Evan has yet to stay the whole 2 hours in nursery. Not sure how that is going to happen). He finally did start to play around towards the end of toddler time. They had fun though. I need to go there more because they both love it.

And now on to my super cute, very adorable, always entertaining little girl. She is so funny. Last night she was playing outside in the backyard. I went out to check on her and Evan. I can't just relax when they are playing outside. I have to check on them every ten min or so. I am a helicoptor mom, I am always hovering. Anyway-to my suprise, Lauren was carrying around a snail. My little princess, who loves to play with my make-up and is always wearing princess dresses, was playing with a dirty slimy icky snail. It was cute. She even kissed the gross thing (yuck). It was so cute to me that this little girl who was playing with a bug is the same little girl who is always trying to get me to wear jewlery. Funny girl!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Third, or not a Third....that is the question

The million dollar question as of late is, will we have an other baby, or is two enough? I don't know. When I wanted to get pregnate with Lauren, I wanted a baby sooo bad. We tryed for 5 months with no luck. I know that that isn't a whole long time, but I started to wonder if I was going to be able to have a baby. Then, the day before Mother's day, we found out that we were going to have a baby. I was so happy. I called everyone I knew, and there dogs. Really, I did, just ask Maraine and Lexi-they'll tell ya. (those are my dad-in-laws dogs) Then when Lauren was almost two, I started to want an other one again. We decided to wait untill Lauren's 2nd birthday to try. I waited patiently. All I could think about was a baby. I missed the feel of a newborn in my arms. I dreamed about it at night. I wanted a new little one so badly. Not that I wasnt' happy with Lauren. I loved my baby girl. I think because she is such an angel, it made me just want an other one more. If she was a terror, I think that I would have had some reservations. Then a week after Lauren's 2nd birthday, I was pregnate.

I guess the reason why this subject has taken residence in my mind as of late is because Evan is going to be 2 in September. The difference is, I am not really wanting an other baby just yet. Evan is also an angel baby. It makes me think that if I had an other one, the third one might be my problem child. You know that every family has one. But I still think about it all the time. I don't know if that makes sence. I think about it because the timing is right. I like the three year age differece. It is logical to start thinking of it now. I know that I want at least 4 kids, and Chad wants 6 (yep, you read that right, Chad wants 6. Unless my next two pregnacys are twins, I don't think that is going to happen). And I don't want to be 60 at my last kids high school graduation. I am going to be the dreaded 30 next year (dun dun da duuunnnn), so we better get crackin'. But I just don't feel it. What I feel is a lot of anxiety about it. I want to get back into shape. I want to take Lauren and Evan camping next summer. I want to get the house fixed up a bit. But I am also nervous that the longer I wait to have a third, maybe a third won't come. Am I being a little selfish? I don't know what to do. Ahhh!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

My Muddy Boy!

My boy loves to get dirty! Such a difference from my little girl. Lauren is sooo girly, that even when she is digging wholes in the dirt, she manages to come away without a speck of dirt on her. But Vin, oh my gosh! I have to give the kid a bath everyday he loves to get dirty. I am not above thinking that he might just roll around in the dirt like a cat! I love this video. He is so funny. I love the look he gives me when I tell him that eating the mud is dirty. (it was raining that day. And yes, I know, Evan is outside in the rain in nothing but a diper. But it was a nice hot summer rain).

He was so muddy after that. He was muddy from head to toe! But he had a great time! That is what childhood is all about. Here are some more pictures of Muddy Evan. He is so Stinkin' cute! I love this boy!

And here is Evan with our dog Radley. Chad bought me Radley for Valentines day when Evan was 5 months old. Chad may have bought the dog for me, but she is definatly Evan's dog. She loves Evan and Evan loves her. It is real cute. And although I wouldn't recomend getting a puppy when you have a 5 month old, I am so glad we did it. There was a time when we almost put her up on KSL Classifieds, but I am so glad that we stuck it out. Look how cute they are together! Evan's first word was "Radley." I have no ego, so I am OK with that. Lauren's first word was "Diper", so "Radley" was a step up. Maybe my next kid will say "Mommy" first. Or they may say something totally random first. We are, after all, a totally random family.

Man I love this cute boy soo much!!