Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Third, or not a Third....that is the question

The million dollar question as of late is, will we have an other baby, or is two enough? I don't know. When I wanted to get pregnate with Lauren, I wanted a baby sooo bad. We tryed for 5 months with no luck. I know that that isn't a whole long time, but I started to wonder if I was going to be able to have a baby. Then, the day before Mother's day, we found out that we were going to have a baby. I was so happy. I called everyone I knew, and there dogs. Really, I did, just ask Maraine and Lexi-they'll tell ya. (those are my dad-in-laws dogs) Then when Lauren was almost two, I started to want an other one again. We decided to wait untill Lauren's 2nd birthday to try. I waited patiently. All I could think about was a baby. I missed the feel of a newborn in my arms. I dreamed about it at night. I wanted a new little one so badly. Not that I wasnt' happy with Lauren. I loved my baby girl. I think because she is such an angel, it made me just want an other one more. If she was a terror, I think that I would have had some reservations. Then a week after Lauren's 2nd birthday, I was pregnate.

I guess the reason why this subject has taken residence in my mind as of late is because Evan is going to be 2 in September. The difference is, I am not really wanting an other baby just yet. Evan is also an angel baby. It makes me think that if I had an other one, the third one might be my problem child. You know that every family has one. But I still think about it all the time. I don't know if that makes sence. I think about it because the timing is right. I like the three year age differece. It is logical to start thinking of it now. I know that I want at least 4 kids, and Chad wants 6 (yep, you read that right, Chad wants 6. Unless my next two pregnacys are twins, I don't think that is going to happen). And I don't want to be 60 at my last kids high school graduation. I am going to be the dreaded 30 next year (dun dun da duuunnnn), so we better get crackin'. But I just don't feel it. What I feel is a lot of anxiety about it. I want to get back into shape. I want to take Lauren and Evan camping next summer. I want to get the house fixed up a bit. But I am also nervous that the longer I wait to have a third, maybe a third won't come. Am I being a little selfish? I don't know what to do. Ahhh!!

4 comments:

Rachael said...

Have a baby when your ready. You have to take care of them all day while Chad is at work. I don't think it's selfish to want to wait for the third. If your plans are to have at least four, then take your time. You do have another decade! ;)

On the plus side... if you wait longer to have the third baby, Evan will be old enough to be your little helper during the day, while Lauren is in school.

I don't blame you, Kimberly is going to be two soon as well... and the last thing on my mind is another baby.

John and Sherri said...

You'll know when it's time. Don't be hard on yourself- it will come. Maybe you'll spread it out a bit then have two more as close as Lauren and Evan. It will all work out!!!

Michelle said...

I think it's probably best to wait until you feel ready :) or until you have the feeling that it really is time to try to have another baby. Hopefully when the time is right you will know. We are just so blessed to be mothers and be able to have children, aren't we :)!

Jill said...

I think I know exactly how you feel because I've been feeling it for months. Jayci is also two, and Jack and Jayci are so close in age that I already feel guilty for not having another one, but I just don't feel ready for the third. Plus part of me is prepping myself for not just the third but the fourth as well because I want to have two close like my first two, so it just might be awhile:) However, I do think it's better for you and your family to wait until you feel ready instead of just jumping in when your not and then feeling overwhelmed. I think kids can sense those things.

PS-I don't think you just got lucky with angel babies, I think it says alot about how you parent them. You are a great mom, therefore you have great kids!