Thursday, February 26, 2009


I saw pictures of Chad's sisters before I ever met them. (All except Kari, of course.) When I looked at the faded photograph, all I saw was, model model and an other model. I was so nervous to meet them. I mean, I loved Chad. At this point, we had been dating for awhile. But what do you do if your boyfriends family doesn't like you? I was nervous. Chad loves his sisters and was full of praise about them. I was soooo nervous. We pulled up to Shari's house and Chad stoped the car. Did I mention that I was a little bit nervous? I knew that Chad's whole family was waiting in there to meet this girl that Chad had been dating in California. All they knew of me was what Chad had told them (and Kari, of course). But love is blind. What if they didn't like the way I talked, or laughed, or smelled? What if they didn't like red heads? People didn't still believe that red heads were witches, right? I don't even own a broom! I mean that is all mid-evil? Chad got out of the car and walked over to open my door. This was it. No turning back. I could fake a fall, or get suddenly overwhelmed by a massive headache. What are the chances that I would have contracted malaria since earlier that morning? But with Chad's hand strongly gripping mine, I knew I could do it. And I did. We opened Shari's door to a room full of warm hearts and open arms. I felt like I was home. And I felt like I was with family, and I was. Chad's sisters are kind hearted and so genuine. They are warm and open. Their movie star good looks are just reflections of their hearts. I could rhapsodize their charactor for pages, but I won't. I didn't know then how much I would need there conection untill years later. They cry when I am hurt and worry for my welfare. They are full of sincere joy at my accomplishments. They fill a hole that wasn't there the night I met them, but was formed just a couple years after. I feel like to call them in-laws would to be doing them an injustice. I love them, for they are my sisters. I knew right away that Chad was for me. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, I didn't either-untill I met Chad. I know I am supose to be his wife. And I know that I was supose to have three beautful women as my sisters. Sometimes you are born into a family, and sometimes you make one. And if you are really lucky, you get to join one. Family is a subjective word to me. The ties that bind arn't always blood, but love.

I totally stole this picture off of Kari's facebook (hehe, thanks Kari :)). From right to left: Shari, Kari, and Traci. I am completly the daisy when I stand next to these roses! Thank you guys for making me feel like I have a family. I love you.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

More Lauren-isums, and Lauren's hair

I was putting Lauren to bed the other night. We had just finished with our family prayer and it was time for Lauren's prayer. She said she didn't want to say one. When I asked her why she said

"Because. I talk to Heavenly Father every every every night! When he is going to call me back!?!"

Chad had hand surgery on Thursday and it is quit painfull for him. He is all doped up on pain meds. Chad was talking to me about just how much pain he is in when Lauren pipes in and says "I want to say a prayer." Ok, why not. No reason to not to let her if she is wanting to. So Chad and I knell down next to Lauren and she says a little prayer. "Heavenly Father...Grateful for this day..bless our family..keep them safe. And bless daddy that his hand will be all better and won't hurt anymore." That was so sweet. Chad and I just smiled at each other. But then, she said a little later,"Daddy, is your hand all better now?" When Chad said it still hurt, Lauren replied,"No it doesn't daddy, I said a prayer. So now it is all better." Ahh the faith of a four year old. At what point do we lose all that childlike faith?

Speaking of Chad's hand surgery, I went to go pick him up and I had Lauren and Evan in the car. Lauren said, "I am not going to look at daddy's cut because it will make me to sad." (we told her that he had to get a cut in his hand). I told her she didn't have to look at it if she didn't want to. When we got to Mt.Ogden Surgical center, I parked the car and got Evan out of his car seat. I turned to Lauren and said, "Ok baby girl, lets go." She looked totally shocked and said "I'm not going anywhere. I am staying right here." I told her she couldn't stay here because little girls can't be by themselves in a car. She said, "No mommy, I already told you. I am not going in. I don't want to see daddy's cut. It will make me cry." I finally got her to go in. But I thought it was just so sweet and so cute that she didn't want to see her daddy in any kind of pain. I love her and her tender little heart.

I knew that it was going to happen one of these days. I thought maybe. And now I know. My little blondie is going dark. Chad had blonde hair untill he was about four, and now all of the sudden, Lauren's hair is so dark. It makes me a little sad because it is just one more piece of evidence that my little baby is growing up. But at the same time, I love dark hair with blue eyes (just like her daddy). I think she will be beautiful no matter what color her hair is.

These pictures are kind of dark, but with the flash on, you couldn't see the contrast as well. The bottom of her hair is still her baby hair (we have never given her a hair cut). So you can see how blonde she use to be and how dark her hair is getting now. I swear she just woke up one day and it was like she dyed her hair in the middle of the night. And it is also getting super thick too, no longer the "baby-fine" hair. Oh, my baby is growing up. Somebody get me a tissue.

One last thing. I took some pictures today of Chad's hand. His right hand looks twice the size of his left. But it needed to be done. He had "trigger finger" in his thumb, and his thumb kept getting locked in place. He had to push it out to get it to move. It was also starting to get very painful. He waited untill he just couldn't do anything anymore with his right hand before he even thought about any kind of surgery. Because he takes cumidin, it makes even the most routine things a little complicated. He had to slowly go off cumidin and give himself Lovenox shots. three days before the surgery and three days after. He is such a macho man. He just jabs it into his stomache!! But he is not so macho that he lets me know how painful the shots are. But anyway, we still have to watch his blood levals. He really isn't out of the woods yet. We need to get him back on cumidin. Once he is back on cumidin and his blood is at the right levals, then I will stop worring about him. Anyway, here are some pictures of his hand.

Can you see how much bigger his right hand is then his left?

And here is the Lovenox. He has to give himself two injections every day. Better him then me. I definatly couldn't do it. And last but not least,

Thank you to everyone who has asked about Evan, and shown concern for my little guy. He is doing great. It is amazing just how fast little ones heal. And it looks amazing. Dr. Snow did a wonderful job. Now Chad and I can relax-he can walk free and easy in the locker room after gym with his chest out and his head held high. Now, I am done with surgerys and hospitals for the rest of the year, thank you!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My Ever After

Do you think that me being sick on our anniversery and Chad being sick on Valentines Day is a bad Omen? Chad took such good care of me when I need him to, and I spent all day on the day the celebrates love taking care of my love. I never really cared for all of the tokens and the store bought love. I only noticed Valentines day, or New Years to come to think of it, when I had no one to call my own. Now that I have my everyday typical normal life and my best friend as my permante Valentine, I don't give those "couple" holidays much thought. I guess it really doesn't matter all that much, because true love shouldn't be celebrated on just one day of the year with a $3 card and a heart shaped box of chocolates but should be unceasingly clear with the little acts of kindness that is given each and everyday of our lives. Chad has already given me his heart, the fruits of his hard earned labor and two beautiful children. We may not have a lot of money and materials, but love is abundent in our home. I am fell so blessed that Chad asked me to be his wife. I am amazed at my foresight, that I knew when I saw him on his knee right before me, my life would be overflowing with happiness. He made all my dreams come true. I don't need granite countertops and an over flowing wardrobe, I just need Chad's hand in mine for all eternity.

Dear Chad,

I love our love. Falling in love with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so lucky to be your wife! I fall in love with you more and more everyday! It is almost impossible for me to comperhend how deep my love for you will be 50 years from now. With your sence of humor, your carring ways,and your understanding, you have taught me how to believe in love. The times we spend together, laughing and enjoying each others company, or spending quit evenings on the couch with your arm over my shoulders as we watch T.V are some of the most precious times I have ever had in my life. Nothing in the world means more to be then the love we are discovering now. And I know that I could never love an other the way that I cherish you. I love you with all my heart.

With all my heart,

It really doesn't matter where I go in life or what I do. I wouldn't want any of it without Chad.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Evan's Surgery

I was so emotional yesterday. I am a generally an emotional person to begin with, you should see me watching exteme home makeover. Oh, I am a wreck!! But yesterday I think I had good reason. I was taking my baby boy to be all cut up!! I have to say though, my kids are healthy with strong bodies and sharp minds. How lucky am I!!! I saw in the halls of primary childrens so many sick kids that it just made my heart bleed. I saw a little boy in a wheel chair who had spinal biffida and a feeding tube in in his nose. I also saw a little girl being wheeled around in a wheel chair looking so ill. She had a mask over her face and big circles under her eyes. In the parents waiting room, I heard an other mother talk on the phone. She was announcing to her family that her little boys mitral heart valve replacement surgery went well. My point is, I am very lucky to have the healthy children that I do have. Evan's opperation is nothing compared to the heartache that all those children and their mother's face every day. Having said that...on to Evan's story

We had to get up so early in the morning. The last bottle he had was 9:00, the night before, and he couldn't have anything the day of the surgery. So poor Evan had to go so long without anything.

One the way to the hopsital, he started sucking his toes!! It was so funny. I have never seen him do it before. I guess since he haddn't had a bottle in 11 hours up to that point, he needed something to stick in his mouth.

When we got there, we had to wait for a little bit to register. While we waited, Chad kept Evan entertained by playing with stickers. It was so cute, and Chad is such a good daddy. I seriously was so emotional all day. And at this point, I was just thinking about the upcoming trama I was leading Evan into. I am so glad that Chad was there. Up until yesterday, I had thought that I was going to be doing all of this alone. When Chad told me that he got work off and he will be there with me, a huge weight lifted off my sholders. I depend on Chad so much. He is my rock and my soft place all in one. He made me feel so secure. I can go on and on about how much I love him and how dependalbe and strong he is for me and our little family. Long story short, I love Chad!

Step one:reginstration! We got all registered. Chad and I got bright pink braclets that identified us as Evan's parents, and Evan got a blue hospital braclet around his ankle. He hated it!

He tried to convice Chad and I to take it off for him. When we did nothing but laugh at his cuteness, he tried to take matters into his own hands and get that peice of uncomfortable plastic off himself.

He tried in vain for only a couple of minutes. Then he moved onto more important matters.

The fish!! My little man loves animals of every kind. He lights up when ever he sees a dog, cat, fish, bird, just about any animal. The fish tank kept him entertained untill they called us back for the pre-op check up. Remember how I said he hates doctors and doctor offices. Well, this is where he started to get a little suspecious and nervous.

Step two,Pre-op check: Poor kid!! Dosen't that look on his sad face just break your heart!?!

Then a nurse came in and did a little pre-op exam. She was very sweet and soft spoken. Evan started to calm down. The staff at Primary Children's is amazing. You can totally tell that they are very use to taking care of little children. They were so good. I hope nobody has to have any kind of operation for there little ones, but if you have to, I strongly suggest that you find a doctor at Primary Children's to do it for you.

Then he had a wardrobe change. Here he is in his cute hospital gown. I think he looks so adorable in it. This is the frount and... it is from the back. We then went to this waiting room to wait for our turn. It was a cute room with lots of toys. But by this time it was 9:30ish and Evan hadn't had anything to eat or drink for a little over 12 hours.

Step three, waiting, and waiting and waiting some more: He was not a happy boy. But, under the circumstances, he was exceeding my expectations!! He was doing pretty good actually. Then we found out that our surgery got pushed back an hour. So instead of 10:30, it was at 11:30. By this time, it was Evan's nap time, and the poor kid was so hungry. But I think it worked to our advantage in a way. He really had no energy to make to much of a fuss. So we wheeled him around in a wagon for a while.

He liked it. I was half hoping that he would drift off to sleep, but he didn't of course. He has a hard time sleeping anywhere but his own bed. And then at this point, it was time!! Dumb-dumb-da-dumb-da-da-dumb-da-da-da-dumb. We walked with the doctor to the doors of the OR. I carred Evan in my arms up untill that point. Then I handed him off and it was so heart breaking for me!! He just stared at me and Chad the whole way and cried with all the muster he could, his arms out streached toward us. It was devistation for him and for me. I knew at that moment that he would forever be scared by my betrayal. (I wasn't thinking about a picture then, but now that all is said and done, I wish I had taken a picture of that moment.) All we had to do was wait. His procedur was actually pretty quick. We only had to wait about 45 min. I was so excited when they said that I could go back and see him.

It was on the sweetest moments I have had with my little boy. He just cuddled into me. I felt so blessed to have him in my arms all safe and sound. After spending the day at Primary Children's Hospital, I also was so overwhelmed with the fact that my children are perfect. Nothing is really wrong with them. I see my children in the eyes of all those sick kids. They are just children, like me own. They want to play and laugh. They get scared and insecure. They are 4 years old and 17 month olds, and every other age inbetween and beyond.

Look at his poor little foot. They put the IV into his foot. And becasue they put little baby narcotics in him and he had all the anastecia, they had to wait for an hour untill we could take him home. We also had to make sure he would be able to drink a sippy cup and not throw it all up. He had to keep something down before they would check us out. So we just kind of hung out and took turns holding him.

He was so sweet. I think I was just so happy that the day was over and he was safe in my arms.

He was just so chill. Then again, it could have been all the demeral and the nerve block that did the trick. And he was such a rockstar! My little man. I am very proud of him. He kept down all of the apple juice and crackers, so after an hour we were able to go home.

We changed him back into his jammies, stoped off at the pharmacy to pick up his hydrocodin and accepamediphin, then we were on our way home. I don't think I could have held myself together that day without Chad by my side. And both of us could not have done any of it if it wern't for my mother-in-law who took Lauren the night before so that we could just consintrate on Evan. And, Debbie, you were right. All Evan remembers is that we were there when he woke up. I am so grateful that my kids are healthy. They are loud, and rambucous. They fight over toys, and bounce off the walls. They hug and love with so much feircness. They are tender and sweet. They give their heart without any reservations. And everyday I thank my Heavenly Father that I have two of the worlds most beautiful babies in creation.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Lauren and Evan


I tell Lauren all the time that I love her daddy. The other day, we were all hanging out in our bed and I said, "Lauren I love your daddy." She retorted, "He is my daddy, I love him." Then I said, "But I love him too, can't we share?" To which she answered, "No, he is my daddy. You have your own daddy and his name is Grandpa."

Last week, I was crying to Chad over my mom. It is something I do at least once a month. When Lauren can up to me and put her skinny little arms around my neck and said, "Don't worry Mommy. I will be your Mommy." Sooo sweet!

My cousin is getting a divorce. So sad, I think. Divorce is so hard, even if the reasons for it are right, it doesn't make it easy. Anyway, we were meeting him and his two super cute girls at the mall to give them a toy that we had multipule of. Lauren is a typical toddler in the fact that she has a hard time sharing. She didn't want to give up this toy. We then explained that their mommy and their daddy don't live in the same house anymore and the mommy doesn't love the daddy anymore. So if we could give these little girls this toy that they can play with when they visit their daddy, it might make them feel happy. Lauren listened so carfully. You could see the wheels turning in her head. Then she had a light bulb moment, "I know Mommy. I will give those girls fairy dust and it will make there mommy love there daddy again. And they will be all better." So sweet and so simple the world of a four year old!! And when we did see my cousin at the mall, Lauren kept trying to put "fairy dust" in the little girl's pockets. I love my sweet sweet little girl.

Ok, last one! I was watching this DVD called 'The Dutchess" and Lauren was watching it with me. She calls it "the movie with the girl with all the pretty dresses." She is so funny. Anyway, at one point she wanted to know why the girl was crying and I said "her husband is not very nice to her." Lauren got all worried and said, "No thats not right. He is her prince. She is his princess." I said "Sometimes when you get married, it isn't always good." And then she said. "But they are best friends." She was so disturbed by the fact that they wern't friends that she went to her room to pout. It was way cute. Chad and I really are best friends and we tell each other so all the time. So it is so cute that Lauren feels that anyone who is married are best friends.


Evan is such a goofy boy lately. It is so funny to watch his personality come to life. The really funny thing that he has developed lately is he does like this little down ward facing dog pose from yoga. He will peek out from inbetween his legs and wave to us. It is so cute. And if I tell him to do it again, he does it right away.

This is him grabing his bread inbetween his legs. He is soo funny.

Now for some sad news. At least hard for me. Evan has to go into primary childrens hospital on thursday for a little out patient surgery. And it really isn't life threatening or serious, but it still is scary for me. His circumsion wasn't done right, so they are going to have to redo it. Evan already crys when we go to a doctor's office, and we don't give our kids shots! So can you imagine what it will be like after his second circumsion!! Poor kid. I am actually a nervous wreck right now. All I can think about is my poor little sweet sensitive funny boy in pain.

In the grand sceem of things, this little surgery is really nothing. But my baby boy is everything to me. He has the cutest belly laugh that starts deep with in him and just skips through out the room. He has such a soft and tender heart. He loves animals and lights up when ever he is near one.

The logical part of me knows that all will be well. The mom in me just doesn't want to break his heart. I am afraid that he will fell betrayed by me, like I just left him alone to be cut up by some crazy looking man in a white coat and mask. But that is just my emotions talking. They talk alot. All my logic gets drowned out by my emotions. Logic tell me that he won't remember my betrayl. Then Emotions pipes in and says-at least I hope not.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Butter, Blog Book, Bueaty, and Buddy Boy


No we don't have mice, we have a Chad! Chad makes me laugh almost everyday. And what makes it really funny is he isn't trying to be funny. He is just being himself. I went into my fridge yesterday to get some butter to make eggs for breakfast, and this is what I saw:

I just started laughing. I had to take a picture because it is so classic Chad. When I asked him about it, he said that he wanted some butter, but was to impatient to open the box and take the wraper off the butter, so he mutilated it instead. Which made me laugh more because I thought that the way he did it proboly took more work then just opening up the butter package. Haha he is so funny. I love it. I love that he destroys CD covers because he just rips them apart instead of taking off the plastic wrap and stickers that it comes in. I love that when I Change the sheets on the bed, a weeks worth of socks comes tumbling out from the bottom. And I love that he is totally clueless in the kitches, asking for Maps instead of reciepes, and putting red wine vinager into pancakes because the name sounded like it might be good. You gotta love him!


Ok, learn a lesson from us. We knew that you need to back up all your picture, and we knew that you shouldn't put them on an external hard drive, because they aren't relialbe. You need to back them up on a CD. Something that isn't machanical, because you can still loose everything. Chad has been saying for months now that he wants to back up all our pictures, and he never got around to it. We had everything backed up on an external hard drive, but guess what, that failed too. So back everything up on a CD, espeacially your pictures. We lost everything from the last 5 years or so. Sucks, huh. Anyway, just after Christmas, I started putting together a blog book. And now that we lost everything, I am so glad that I did. Plus I love it. I really do. And Lauren always asks me to read to her from the book that is "all about me," as she puts it. She loves it. So I took some pictures to show you how it turned out. You really don't get a good idea from the pictures, but you get some sort of idea from it. I would recomend it to anyone. I love it. Didn't I already say that I love it? Well I do!! I love it!. I went to, if anyone is interested. (Please ignore my hand in the pictures).


Lauren is a funny girl. She is always trying to do my hair, or Chad's. She is always trying to paint Chad's nails because "Daddy needs a makeover." She is so girly, I have no idea where she came from. I am the totally opposite of girly. I don't know how to dress outside of jeans and a T-shirt, and I never wear jewlery. The occasions that I do put on a necklace, it just bugs me the whole time. And I only put on makeup if I am going to leave the house. (except mascara, I always have to be wearing mascara). Anyway, she had a new subject with wich to give makeovers to. Radley! She is always trying to but make up on the dog and bows in the dogs hair. At least once a week she tells me that we should dye Radley's hair pink. Last night while I was reading a book, I could hear Lauren talking to Radley about how pretty Radley was. "You will look so nice at the ball Radley." That is when I looked up.

She had put Radley in one of her princess dresses. Radley just let her. It was so funny! (bytheway, Lauren has been sick, that is why she looks sooo skinny and has circles under her eyes. She always looses so much weight when she gets sick, and since she is so little normally, you can really see it on her.)


Boys are so much messier then little girls. I clean Vin's face off so many times through out the day, I have lost count. And the boy is always getting into things. Here is a couple of pictures of Evan's warpath. And all these pictures were taken just in last couple of days. Girls may be full of drama, but at least they arn't destructive! I have heard it said that little girls are emotionally exhusting and
little boys are physically exhusting. And having both, I can totally vouch for that statement.

Here is Buddy, enjoying his pudding pop. ummmm..Chocolate....Ahhhhh!

Here he is dumping out protien powder, and he found my secret stash of chocolate.

And here he is dumping out pancake mix and flour. This kid is expensive!

I love how when I catch him in the act, he always gives me this totally innocent look. He is so cute. There is never a dull moment!