Monday, September 9, 2013
Evan was so excited and anxious to start this new adventure in his life. Like any new venue, his anticipation and nerves were high. He was no longer the one waving good bye from the doorway as his older sister made the two block walk to school. He would be joining her. And although I knew he was ready for this right of passage, I was also so nervous for him. He has such a tender loving heart. He doesn't have a mean bone or a bad intention anywhere in his body. He looked so grown up and ready to take on the world. Just like any mountain that our kids climb, I watched him go with equal pride for the maturity that he was handling it, and sadness that yet an other chapter in his life has been closed. Man, I just love this kid.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
At H Guy Child Elementary school, the "bigger" grades started school a week before Kindergarten. Lauren is now a big time third grader. I can't believe how big she has gotten. How mature she looks. How fast the time flys, and every other phrase that parents use in astonishment. Phrases that I never really understood until I started marking the passage of time with the growth of my kids.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
I have been terrible at blogging. Terrible! I use to do it religiously, but over the past couple of years, with all the ups and downs we have had, blogging got put on the back burner. I have said it before, so we will see if I actually live up to what I am saying, but I really want to make it a goal to blog once a week. We'll see. There is a lot I could write about. First day of school, Archer joining the clan, all of our adventurers and our misadventures too. But recently, I lost my Grandma. I loved my Grandma so much. She didn't really understand all that was going on between my mom and myself. She loved her daughter (my mom) and she loved me. She was able to compartmentalize the two relationships. She loved me for me and the estrangement between me and my mother played no part in how my Grandma treated me. For the past couple of years or so, my strong independent Grandma was living in an assisted living home. I got the pleasure and the privilege of seeing her often. She was an hour away from us, so we could only make the trip every other week, but I am so glad we put in the effort to go as often as we did. The kids were shy and unsure of who she was when we first started our bimonthly visits, but by the end, she was Grandma Bruun to them. They knew her. And when news of her passing came to our family, my sweet little ones cried when they found out that their Grandma Bruun was now gone. She loved my kids, and my kids loved her. I will miss so much about her. But mostly, I will miss the unconditional love she gave to me. She loved me, flaws and all. Heaven is a little brighter.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Day two: Dude, have you seen my husband? If you had then you would know what I am thankful for today. He has seen my dark side, but the force is strong with us...and he loves me despite the dark side of me. (I have a good side too, I promise). He has unplugged me from the Matrix. And there is no one else on earth I would rather go treasure hunting with while some crazy family of murderers chase us. I just love him, and I am so lucky to be Mrs. Chad Triplett.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
I am going to do the whole 30 days of thanksgiving thing this year. So for Day one: I am so thankful for my Dad, who has taught me to be strong and to stand up for what I know is right. And who has taught me the kind of person I want to be by the way he lives his life and loves those who have hurt him. He is basically kind to everyone. I have seen him, help old ladys carry their grocerys out to their cars, pick up hitch hikers, leave the house at three in the morning to give a blessing, fix someones car, swamp cooler, roof without any charge, and just do about anything for anyone who needs any kind of assistance. My dad lived with us when I was pregnant with Evan for about a year. I still have some one come up to me in church to tell me about a time that my dad helped them out in one way or an other. And while he was in my home, not once did he brag about how much he was doing for others. He just quietly went about his business.
Monday, October 29, 2012
I am a little obsessed with the Amish, for some reason. I haven't always been. This obsession started about 5 years ago. It wasn't until I was watching a show about these Amish kids that were leaving their orders that I kind of had a light bulb moment. I am obsessed with them because I can relate to them. Not the whole trudging in the snow to go to the outhouse, or the "hey, wheres my cell phone? Oh I forgot, I don't have one because I'm Amish" kind of way. But the whole shunning by your family because you make a choice that they don't agree with kind of way, the shunning I can totally relate to. I had decided that I wasn't really going to write about my family any more, but something happened on Facebook that completely changed my mind. I feel helpless when it comes to my family. I have tried to help them understand my decision and why I made it. I wanted them, not unreasonably, to make an effort because I am their daughter/sister and they "love" me. But in the end, and after years of trying, I have given up. I don't know what my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins believe about Chad and I, and really I don't care. All I know is that they have reached out to me and tried to close the gap more then my own mother, and they really haven't done a whole lot. I have come to understand that as far as my mom is concerned, the spirit is only working when it is confirming a decision that she already thinks is right. Any other decision and the person isn't worthy to receive Revelation or confirmation of their choice. She actually told me on the way home from seeing my bishop, after he told my mom to but out and let Chad and I work on things without her interference, that she believed my bishop wasn't worthy to be a bishop. (but that is neither here or there, I just want you to understand what I have been trying to work with for the past 7 years) A couple of weeks ago, I couldn't get onto my sister Natalie's Facebook account any more. We had a little argument about something that really isn't relevant, the point is the next day, I couldn't get onto her Facebook any more. But since that is just typical of my family, I skipped it. But then here is the convo I had with my sister Brittny on Facebook yesterday, keep in mind that my family are masters at the whole passive aggressive thing: Brittny: My sweet sister Natalie is going through a rough time with her divorce. Please support my sister by praying for her or give her the love & support she needs. Our own family members r turning on her. She is a great person. I think she's a wonderful sister, daughter & mother. She doesn't deserve the mistreatment. She's the most Christ-like person I know. I love her so much! (I know that this is a wagging finger in my direction for the argument that Natalie and I had, I wasn't born yesterday) Me: that's sad that family is turning against her. I completely know how that feels. Very much so. She is Chad and my prayers. Our whole family, my husband included are praying for her and her girls. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. (I can do passive aggressive too) Heather (a friend of the familly's): Adding my prayers Me:...and can you tell her I love her? I would do it myself, but for some reason I can't get on her fb wall anymore...? Thanks, and love you too :) Brittny:Thanks Heather! You & Mark has always been there for me, mom, Natalie & Zack! I luv u!! (notice the lack of me or my dad's names, and the pointed ignoring of my comments all together) My Mom: I love my sweet Natalie and it is so hard to watch what she is going through. She is trying so hard to do what God would have her do. I also appreciate her brother Zack, who has been a constant in her life and her sister Brittny. Thanx Britt for your prayers for your little sis! (again, no mention of me at all..my comments, or any acknowledgment that I even exists in the family) Me: I understand why Natalie would feel the way she does, especially if her family isn't supporting her. I prayed about a decision long ago and did what the spirit told me to do, and I too lost family support because of that decision. When you do what you know is right, even when the whole world, and family is telling you otherwise, then you find the strength you need and Heavenly Father compensates for your loss. And no matter how hard we pray that things would be different, we all have our agency and you can't change other's choices. Natalie has a loving family that are rallying around her during a difficult time. I wish I had had that 7 years ago and I wish I had it now. I think Natalie is lucky that she has her family there for her, I would love to have my family rallying around me. So many times in the past years that I have wished for just that very thing. Brittny: (skipping over me again like I wasn't even commenting at all)I would do anything 4 my baby sis! I know she's doing the right thing by going through this divorce. She is the most Christlike person I know. I wish I had the spiritual strength that she has. Natalie will find a husband as wonderful & worthy as mine. I look up 2 my baby sister! I love her so much!! Me:(taking the more direct rout) She is lucky to have everyone in her corner, I'm curious, who is this person in the family who isn't supporting her? Brittny: (again, Melissa who? Do you see anyone named Melissa commenting? Nope neither do I) Ur welcome mom! I'm always glad 2 b there 4 Natalie, Karabear & Katiebug!! Drew & I love u all very much!! So at this point, I am tired of the whole 7 years of shunning going on. How can yo fix things if your family pretends you don't exists, unless it is to their benefit to cry on someones shoulder about the "daughter that doesn't talk to them" or the "sister who they never see" But when I actually try to talk to them or make them see, I get literally shunned. So, what am I to do but carry on with my life and love the family I do have? I still want to tell them how I feel though. I have this crazy idea that one day they will go "ohhh...ok. So you did pray about your decision and you got your answer. I get it now! You are happy! Well that's great, come on over for a bbq and we can meet your boys that we have never seen and we can see how big and beautiful your daughter has gotten." But that is just fantasy. It'll never happen. But I did want to let them know that I am here, I do feel, and basically..I'm here(which I know I already said but it's a big deal. It hurts to be shunned) Me: Brittny, whose not supporting Natalie, and what is this mistreatment your talking about? I would like to know since, I too know how she feels, so I am in a unique position to empathize with her. Unless, all y'alls just keep pretending like I don't exist, then how can I be there for my sister who I also love very much. 10 min later... Me again: And off the subject, but still on point, while I got y'all more or less here, even though you pretend I am not commenting..I see all of you supporting Natalie and discussing how god like everyone is. What about me? I'm still here, I still have feelings and I'm still part of this family. Why hasn't any one mentioned my name or offered me support in my hard times? Here in an open forum, reading over the comments with an outpouring of support, no one would know there is another sister. My name is Melissa and I welcome your encouragement the same as you have given Natalie. I was at the same crossroads as Natalie was, but the spirit pointed me in a different direction. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it less right. I am strong because I followed what I know to be right and lost all of you. At least Natalie has her family support, and she has mine if she would let me be there. What Natalie is going through brings me back 7 years, and this is the first time that I get to say anything to you guys. Why are you there for Natalie but you turned your back on me? When I said I need you, I lost you. It hurts. It hurt then, it hurts now. I am so glad that Natalie doesn't have to go through this, follow the spirit, and have to learn to live her life without her family there. Yeah, I know. It's a rant, but can you blame me? I just don't want anyone to feel all alone like I do a lot of the time. Call your mom's and your sister's. When you laugh with them, take a moment to appreciate how lucky you are. I think I am strong though. It is easy to do what you know is right when everyone is backing you up, but when you do something you know is right that other ostracized you for, then you really have to know it is right and just do it. Imagine all the things that you depend on your sisters and mothers for, now imagine that they are gone and you have no one to depend on but yourself. I don't regret my decision, I only regret the reaction of others. But they do have their agency, all I can do is live my life. I haven't given up on reconciliation a long time ago. I get met with much of the same as that Facebook conversation. So I am up a creek on that one. Chad gave me a blessing a little while ago about this and he said that it is no longer my burden to carry. I am working on dropping the load, but it is easier said then done. I love them, but I got to let them go. They let me go a long time ago. It's time I did the same.