Day Two

Day two: Dude, have you seen my husband? If you had then you would know what I am thankful for today. He has seen my dark side, but the force is strong with us...and he loves me despite the dark side of me. (I have a good side too, I promise). He has unplugged me from the Matrix. And there is no one else on earth I would rather go treasure hunting with while some crazy family of murderers chase us. I just love him, and I am so lucky to be Mrs. Chad Triplett.

Rain or shine, there is no one I would rather navigate the peaks and valleys with then Chad. Some one once asked me who my "maybe guy" is. I was like, "dude, whats a Maybe Guy?" And they were all, "You know..the guy you think maybe if things were different you might have been with." I was a little astonished that people have maybe guys, I don't. Before I met Chad I was worried that I met "the one" on a bus or at the mall somewhere and I just let him walk out of my life. But once I met Chad, all thoughts of that nature where gone. I have a feeling that if I did screw things up with Chad and he did walk out of my life then, he would have become my maybe guy. But lucky for me I don't have a maybe guy, I have my guy.

He is such a good dad. Here he is teaching Evan how to change the oil. I once said to him that I would choose him over any one else. I never knew then that that promise would be tried and tested, but it was. And I stayed true to that promise I made him that day, and on the day that we were married. I have lost some, but I have gained so much more. I truly believe that there is nothing that Chad and I can't accomplish together.

He tries so hard to help me with all that I need. I know that I am not perfect and I am sure that at times I drive him crazy with my girly ways, but he wants me to be happy and trys to meet all my needs. What more could a girl ask for? I am so thankful for my husband. So so grateful. How many girls can say that they get to marry their one true love? This girl can.

(this last picture is just because it makes me laugh, and it reminds me of Chad)

Day One of Thanksgiving

I am going to do the whole 30 days of thanksgiving thing this year. So for Day one: I am so thankful for my Dad, who has taught me to be strong and to stand up for what I know is right. And who has taught me the kind of person I want to be by the way he lives his life and loves those who have hurt him. He is basically kind to everyone. I have seen him, help old ladys carry their grocerys out to their cars, pick up hitch hikers, leave the house at three in the morning to give a blessing, fix someones car, swamp cooler, roof without any charge, and just do about anything for anyone who needs any kind of assistance. My dad lived with us when I was pregnant with Evan for about a year. I still have some one come up to me in church to tell me about a time that my dad helped them out in one way or an other. And while he was in my home, not once did he brag about how much he was doing for others. He just quietly went about his business.

I recently learned of a service he did for me about three years ago. Because it is my dad, and he told me in confidence, I won't write about what he did for me here on my blog. I will say that it made me feel looked after and loved. I am very thankful for my dad. My mom use to tell me all the time "you sound just like your father.." or "your acting just like your dad..." I always took it as a compliment even if it wasn't always meant as one. I hope one day for someone somewhere to tell me "You know what, you remind me of your Dad." That would make my day.

It is so easy for us to think about all the things that we have lost along the way, it is important for us to every now and then to remember the things that have always been. I have always had my dad. His love and his support, even though he didn't always agree with my choices in life, he always showed me he loved me.

I am proud that my son Reece Wesley caries his name as his middle name. (although you can't tell it from the picture, so is Reece.) I love my dad, so for Day one: I am thankful for my Dad.

My Family Must be Amish

I am a little obsessed with the Amish, for some reason. I haven't always been. This obsession started about 5 years ago. It wasn't until I was watching a show about these Amish kids that were leaving their orders that I kind of had a light bulb moment. I am obsessed with them because I can relate to them. Not the whole trudging in the snow to go to the outhouse, or the "hey, wheres my cell phone? Oh I forgot, I don't have one because I'm Amish" kind of way. But the whole shunning by your family because you make a choice that they don't agree with kind of way, the shunning I can totally relate to. I had decided that I wasn't really going to write about my family any more, but something happened on Facebook that completely changed my mind. I feel helpless when it comes to my family. I have tried to help them understand my decision and why I made it. I wanted them, not unreasonably, to make an effort because I am their daughter/sister and they "love" me. But in the end, and after years of trying, I have given up. I don't know what my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins believe about Chad and I, and really I don't care. All I know is that they have reached out to me and tried to close the gap more then my own mother, and they really haven't done a whole lot. I have come to understand that as far as my mom is concerned, the spirit is only working when it is confirming a decision that she already thinks is right. Any other decision and the person isn't worthy to receive Revelation or confirmation of their choice. She actually told me on the way home from seeing my bishop, after he told my mom to but out and let Chad and I work on things without her interference, that she believed my bishop wasn't worthy to be a bishop. (but that is neither here or there, I just want you to understand what I have been trying to work with for the past 7 years) A couple of weeks ago, I couldn't get onto my sister Natalie's Facebook account any more. We had a little argument about something that really isn't relevant, the point is the next day, I couldn't get onto her Facebook any more. But since that is just typical of my family, I skipped it. But then here is the convo I had with my sister Brittny on Facebook yesterday, keep in mind that my family are masters at the whole passive aggressive thing: Brittny: My sweet sister Natalie is going through a rough time with her divorce. Please support my sister by praying for her or give her the love & support she needs. Our own family members r turning on her. She is a great person. I think she's a wonderful sister, daughter & mother. She doesn't deserve the mistreatment. She's the most Christ-like person I know. I love her so much! (I know that this is a wagging finger in my direction for the argument that Natalie and I had, I wasn't born yesterday) Me: that's sad that family is turning against her. I completely know how that feels. Very much so. She is Chad and my prayers. Our whole family, my husband included are praying for her and her girls. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. (I can do passive aggressive too) Heather (a friend of the familly's): Adding my prayers Me:...and can you tell her I love her? I would do it myself, but for some reason I can't get on her fb wall anymore...? Thanks, and love you too :) Brittny:Thanks Heather! You & Mark has always been there for me, mom, Natalie & Zack! I luv u!! (notice the lack of me or my dad's names, and the pointed ignoring of my comments all together) My Mom: I love my sweet Natalie and it is so hard to watch what she is going through. She is trying so hard to do what God would have her do. I also appreciate her brother Zack, who has been a constant in her life and her sister Brittny. Thanx Britt for your prayers for your little sis! (again, no mention of me at all..my comments, or any acknowledgment that I even exists in the family) Me: I understand why Natalie would feel the way she does, especially if her family isn't supporting her. I prayed about a decision long ago and did what the spirit told me to do, and I too lost family support because of that decision. When you do what you know is right, even when the whole world, and family is telling you otherwise, then you find the strength you need and Heavenly Father compensates for your loss. And no matter how hard we pray that things would be different, we all have our agency and you can't change other's choices. Natalie has a loving family that are rallying around her during a difficult time. I wish I had had that 7 years ago and I wish I had it now. I think Natalie is lucky that she has her family there for her, I would love to have my family rallying around me. So many times in the past years that I have wished for just that very thing. Brittny: (skipping over me again like I wasn't even commenting at all)I would do anything 4 my baby sis! I know she's doing the right thing by going through this divorce. She is the most Christlike person I know. I wish I had the spiritual strength that she has. Natalie will find a husband as wonderful & worthy as mine. I look up 2 my baby sister! I love her so much!! Me:(taking the more direct rout) She is lucky to have everyone in her corner, I'm curious, who is this person in the family who isn't supporting her? Brittny: (again, Melissa who? Do you see anyone named Melissa commenting? Nope neither do I) Ur welcome mom! I'm always glad 2 b there 4 Natalie, Karabear & Katiebug!! Drew & I love u all very much!! So at this point, I am tired of the whole 7 years of shunning going on. How can yo fix things if your family pretends you don't exists, unless it is to their benefit to cry on someones shoulder about the "daughter that doesn't talk to them" or the "sister who they never see" But when I actually try to talk to them or make them see, I get literally shunned. So, what am I to do but carry on with my life and love the family I do have? I still want to tell them how I feel though. I have this crazy idea that one day they will go "ohhh...ok. So you did pray about your decision and you got your answer. I get it now! You are happy! Well that's great, come on over for a bbq and we can meet your boys that we have never seen and we can see how big and beautiful your daughter has gotten." But that is just fantasy. It'll never happen. But I did want to let them know that I am here, I do feel, and basically..I'm here(which I know I already said but it's a big deal. It hurts to be shunned) Me: Brittny, whose not supporting Natalie, and what is this mistreatment your talking about? I would like to know since, I too know how she feels, so I am in a unique position to empathize with her. Unless, all y'alls just keep pretending like I don't exist, then how can I be there for my sister who I also love very much. 10 min later... Me again: And off the subject, but still on point, while I got y'all more or less here, even though you pretend I am not commenting..I see all of you supporting Natalie and discussing how god like everyone is. What about me? I'm still here, I still have feelings and I'm still part of this family. Why hasn't any one mentioned my name or offered me support in my hard times? Here in an open forum, reading over the comments with an outpouring of support, no one would know there is another sister. My name is Melissa and I welcome your encouragement the same as you have given Natalie. I was at the same crossroads as Natalie was, but the spirit pointed me in a different direction. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it less right. I am strong because I followed what I know to be right and lost all of you. At least Natalie has her family support, and she has mine if she would let me be there. What Natalie is going through brings me back 7 years, and this is the first time that I get to say anything to you guys. Why are you there for Natalie but you turned your back on me? When I said I need you, I lost you. It hurts. It hurt then, it hurts now. I am so glad that Natalie doesn't have to go through this, follow the spirit, and have to learn to live her life without her family there. Yeah, I know. It's a rant, but can you blame me? I just don't want anyone to feel all alone like I do a lot of the time. Call your mom's and your sister's. When you laugh with them, take a moment to appreciate how lucky you are. I think I am strong though. It is easy to do what you know is right when everyone is backing you up, but when you do something you know is right that other ostracized you for, then you really have to know it is right and just do it. Imagine all the things that you depend on your sisters and mothers for, now imagine that they are gone and you have no one to depend on but yourself. I don't regret my decision, I only regret the reaction of others. But they do have their agency, all I can do is live my life. I haven't given up on reconciliation a long time ago. I get met with much of the same as that Facebook conversation. So I am up a creek on that one. Chad gave me a blessing a little while ago about this and he said that it is no longer my burden to carry. I am working on dropping the load, but it is easier said then done. I love them, but I got to let them go. They let me go a long time ago. It's time I did the same.

On Sunday, we drove up the canyon to look at all the fall colors. I love this time of year. It really is my favorite. I love the smell of the drying leaves in the air, the crispness you feel when you take a breath. I love how the tips of your ears turn as red as the leaves on the trees, but a hoodie is all you need to feel warm. I love fall evening walks, and I love to sit on the deck with a good book to read while my kids run around and enjoy the cooling weather too. I wish I could streatch fall out to cover more of the calender then just a couple of weeks.

While we were on the drive, we pulled over and took some pictures with Chad's new super cool phone that he loves and has affectionaltly named Ed-209, Eddie for short. When I got in the car and looked at the pictures, I just was so struck by how wonderful our family is. I mean, how lucky can I get? I have an amazing husband, who has seen my stains and shadows, and still loves me. And these three beautiful kids are ours, not by accident or regrete, but by love. They embody love themselves. It shines from their eyes, rings in their laughter, and melts my heart.

Of course, everytime I think of where we are now, I can't help but think back at where we have been. I stood, what felt like alone, at a very important crossroads. I was being pulled one way by my family and an other way by my heart. I am so thankful for a wise Bishop who saw our need and found the right words, spoken like thunder, driping with honey, to heal and help us. Because of one decision I had made, I stand, not alone on my road. It is full of the laughter of my children and the soft wispers of encouragement from my husband. But I lost my family, my mom, my sisters and my brother. I countiue to pray that they will one day come to an understanding, but untill that day, I am building what I lost, and eternal family. Starting with an eternal marrige.

Elder Dallin H Oaks said in the April 2007 General Confrence: Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.

(Chad and I goofing around..the second picture is my laughing and Chad, trying hard not to. I love these pictures even though they are blurry because it just sums up Chad and I. We are just goofing off, laughing at and loving each other) President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”

(Ok, so those pictures have nothing to do with my post, but COME ON!! Look at the guy. He is hot, and he is taken..I love him) Chad and I have been through alot together and it seems like as the years pass, much faster then either of us would like, our bond that was forged in California, refined and tested in the early years of our marraige, just keeps getting stronger with age. He is my mortor. And I would hope that I am his as well.

"The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce. " (and, in reality, it was really my mom who was pulling for divorce for us, like a master puppeteer.. long story..very complicated) Of course, I understand that there are situations where divorce is the way to go. But for me and my house, I am so grateful that we found it in each other to say, hey..this isn't over. Even knowing about the lose of my mother and siblligs, I would go back and make the same choices. Standing in that golden light umoung the changing colors of the trees, watching my family laugh and play is all the evidence I need.

(I know I already have this picture posted, but it's worth a second look.)

Morning Walk

Mornings are crazy with little ones in the house. It's an up at 6, running around getting breakfast, finding homework backpacks and shoes. It's a "your going to be late" "don't forget your lunch" kind of rush that starts over every day. Once Lauren is off to school, then it's a empty the dishwasher, re-load the laundry, feed Reece breakfast, "don't touch that", "don't throw food", "be soft with the animals", kind of day. With the hussle and bussle of just taking care of kids, we (or, maybe just I) get overwhelmed with the doing of parenting and not so much of the feeling of it. I worry so much about being a good mom and making sure all of the functions of motherhood are done properly, then sometimes I forget to look at these little people and just love the moment. I feel bad that I am not doing crafts with the kids everyday, or I am not going on some new adventure with them. I want to build memories and I worry that I am not. But it's not the going and the doing that the kids really want. It's time. Your time. It's when I turn off the T.V when Lauren starts talking about her day. Or when I walk away from the computer when Evan asks me to read to him. It's taking the time in the middle of vaccuming the house to hold Reece on my lap and singing "The Ittsy Bittys Spider." It's looking at my kids in the eyes when they are talking to me, and letting them control the flow of the conversation.

Evan wanted to go on a walk today. I didn't, I'm not going to lie about that one. I was tired and a little cranky. A good book while the kids watched the Disney Channel sounded so much better to me then pushing a double stroller around the neighborhood. But, boy did Buddy want to go. So I did, and I am glad I did. Reece was so enthusiastic about the smallest things, a bird, a bug, a plane flying over head, a little paper wind mill in someones yard. And Evan was so cute, ever encouraging his baby brother's delights.

That was enough to turn around my mood, but then a sweet little old lady was also on a walk. She had a name tag from the Legacy house in Ogden that identified her as Audry. She stopped to talk to the boys a minute. She pointed out their beautiful blue eyes and their sweet smiles. She got all emotional and told me to please take time to appreciate the little things because before long the kids will be grown. I don't know who she was, I have never met her before, but I couldn't stop thinking about her words. When we got home, Evan Reece and I played with cars and wrestled on the ground. I guess I just wanted to pass on Audry's advice. If you find yourself too busy making dinner or cleaning the house, if you're to wrapped up in the mechanics of motherhood, just stop and enjoy your little ones. For far to soon, your little ones will be to big to sit on the floor with you and play cars.

So, thanks Audry, where ever you are. I listened.

To Grandmother's House We Go

My Grandma B is living at Legacy right near the Jordan River Temple. I love my Grandma. She has always been there for me. There isn't a memory of my childhood that doesn't involve this strong classy lady. She is full of life, opinions, and love. She will tell you like it is while she is throwing her arms around you. I am pretty sure that she invented the phrase "A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down" and Disney just borrowed it from her. Because that is what she is, a spoon full of sugar and a little bit of medicine to go along with it. I spent so many weekends in her little back bedroom at the end of the hall. I watched many episodes of Star Trek on my Grandpa's lap while Grandma was making dinner in the kitchen. I learned how to play solitar on her formica kitchen table. She played "house" and "school" with me. Many masterpieces by Melissa were created on her couch upholstered in big brown flowers. She has always been a lighthouse to me. I can't imagine a day when she won't be there shining her light for me. And I feel so lucky that she has been able to meet my three kids.

Reece was all huggy today. He kept garbing Evan and wrapping his little baby arms around him. And because he is an equal opportunity hugger, Lauren also go some too.

Here some picture from an earlier visit. We try and visit her once a month. I wish we could do more.

She has decided that she likes Chad. She has heard some bad things about him because my mom is her daughter. She believes that Chad has sure changed over the 9 years that we have been married. No amount of me trying to convince her that he is the same Chad that I married will make her budge on that fact. But I give it to her. I figure it is the only way that she can believe in her daughter (my mom) and still think that Chad is a great guy. I'm good with that. I just love that she loves Chad now.

It was a long day for my Reece's Pieces. I had to get this shot of him. I love sleeping baby pictures. I feel lucky to still have my G-Ma around. She is like a Timex watch...she is strong and dependable. I hope some of that strength also runs through my blood.

Evan's the big 0-5!!

Evan turned the epic age of 5 today. Not gonna lie, sometimes I wondered if he would make it. This kid has a talent for tripping, dropping, or exploring into anything remotely dangerous. He has defiantly kept me on my toes. For instance, when about 6 months ago, he wanted to test the electricity in our socket in the upstairs bathroom...with a pair of tweezers!!!

I have utter the phrase with eyes facing Heaven and hands shaking in totally surender "I am never going to have anything nice!! EVER!!"...possibly three times a day thanks to my little tornado. But given all of the spilled drinks and broken glass that are in his wake, he has the biggest heart of any kid I have ever met. He is a lover of nature and anyone who resides in the animal kingdom.

He has an amazing belly laugh and smiling Irish eyes. You can't listen to the glint of his laughter and ignore it. It begs to be laughed with, no matter the joke. He is full of love and laughter. He has such a tender soul and a giving heart. I have never had to teach him to share. He was born just knowing how. He is the first to cuddle with you if your crying and if he found out that he hurt your feelings, he crys right along with you. He is very generous with his possessions and his love. He is a giver in the truest form of the word. And our house is a better place because his voice is part of it's soundtrack.

We went to Applebee's, just like we do every year, to celebrate. I just love him!!

Some of Evan's Favorite things at the age of 5 are: I Pads, Spiderman, Batman, Ironman, Cereal, Green Ice Cream, Parks, Buzz Lightyear, The Beach, The Mountains, Cows and Dogs Cats, Bunnies, Even Lions, Comic Books, Vampire Diarys, The Bouncy House, and Laughing.

Some of Evan's Dislikes at the age of 5: I only don't like one thing, I don't like hot stuff. Oh yeah, and mean people, you know, like Bad guys.

Man I sure do love this kid. I don't need nice things when I got such a nice kid. Happy Birthday Bud!

And this picture has nothing to do with Evan's birthday except that it was taken at Applebee's on his birthday. I was trying to get a picture of me and Reece when Reece saw himself in the camera. I just love his reaction to him. He is the funniest baby that he knows. I love my life, seriously could it get any better?

My new Goal...More blogging!!

I just realized that it has been 7 months...SEVEN...since I last blogged. There is good reason for the lapse. A lot was going on. I was working and adjusting to a new little guy in our house, and the real reason...I just got a little lazy. But the other night, Lauren pulled out our blog book that I made a couple years ago. Our one and only blog book. I was looking at the pictures and pages and reading all of my mommy mussings and it made me think. There is no record for our family for these past months, and only sporadic record keeping for the past couple of years. I miss my kids being so young and they grow so fast. It's like I blink and Lauren is all ready to cool for me and Evan has learned how to talk back. Reece is growing like a weed and he is into everything.

My life is chaotic and so full of life and every turn, but one day these little midgets will be grown and gone and hopefully trying to rein in the chaos at their own homes with their own nuggets running the show. So while I have these wonderful years with my little ones, I think it is important to make sure all of there comings and goings, their triumphs and defeats, there goodness and their curiosity should be recorded. So, having said that, I am setting a new goal. I am going to blog at least once a week. I need to capture these amazing days so I can keep them close to my heart and never forget. Sometimes, between the dirty diapers and the screaming kids, I forget how precious these days are. But every now and then, I get a messy sticky kiss on the cheek, or a fist full of dandelions to remind me just how amazing these little people are and how privileged I am to be their mommy.

Build a Bear

Lauren and Evan's Mimi from California sent them a build-a-bear gift card for Christmas. We took them recently to get theirs. And can I just say, what a racket!! Seriously they are making bank there. Why didn't I ever think of that! The line full of little children with their eyes bright with anticipation of the event in making their new best friend. Seriously!! If I had thought of that brilliant and lucrative idea, I could be feeding my fire place with $20's!

Lauren picked out a pink cat. She saw it and committed right away to "shiney glitter kitty" (that's the name she gave it)

Evan choose a black bear who he quickly named "Galaxar". He makes me laugh!

Waiting in line. Yes, we had to wait in a line for 15 min! Like I said, they are making some money! Lauren cracks me up in this picture. She is a funny girl.


Man this kid is so cute! I am so in love with him.
Lauren stuffed her cat first.




Evan's turn to stuff Galaxar.



While we were there, they put more stuffing in the machine, and they let Lauren and Evan fill it. They LOVED it. I think that that might have been their favorite part of the whole experience.





Time to give their new bears a bath.





Thanks Mimi!! They have slept with and carried around their new bears ever since. They had so much fun!