Evan turns 3, and update overload!!

On Sunday September 12th, Evan crossed over from two to three. It amazes me how fast the time has just flown by. Lauren is now in school and Evan is a full fledged little boy. Not so much my baby boy any more. This next part is mostly for me to remember my sweet sweet boy and how he was at this age.

Evan is a super soft and sensitive little boy. He hates any kind of change. He loves his big sister to pieces and thinks she can do no wrong. When I put Lauren in time out the other day for hitting him, he was worried about her. When she came out of time out, I told her to apologize to Evan. She went over to him and gave him a hug (which is all part of the "apologize" process in our house)and said "I am sorry I hit you Buddy." To which Evan replied, "I'm sorry Mommy put you in time out." He loves toy story, Iron Man, and-just like his daddy-Star Wars. His favorite part is the AT-ATs. He loves the "big big big BIG walking robots!!" He is a cuddler. He loves to just cuddle up to Chad or I. He will sit on our laps forever, not moving, just cuddling. He is always laughing and smiling, except when faced with a situation that is new to him. (remember how he hates change). I love my little man and I am so honored to be him mom. He teaches me about unconditional pure love everyday. Happy Birthday Buddy Boy.

Since his birthday was on a Sunday, we just had a small celebration with just us. He didn't seem to mind to much.

I took a couple of pictures before church with Evan in his big boy church suit. No more nice pants and shirt combo from old navy any more. He goes to nursery in style.

After church and naps, (what? Doesn't everyone take afternoon naps on Sundays?) we opened his presents. I wish I had taken some pictures of him opening his presents, but I didn't. Afterward, we sang Happy Birthday to him.

I don't think he appreciated our attempts at harmonizing.

Chad let Evan lick the frosting off of his candle....

...but I am thinking that the kid got a little more then frosting. He did say "umm..good." I guess anything frosted in cream cheese frosting would just about taste "umm..good."

In the end, it was a great birthday. Nice and quit, but full of fun and lots of love. And Evan is so cute this year. If you ask him if he is two years old, he will vehemently reply "NO! I three."

This summer has flown by for me. Because I have been working so much, we havn't done anything at all. I haven't even been to the pool. Not once this year. I do feel bad for that, and I am determined to make it up to them next summer. However, Lauren and Evan didn't need to look further then their own back yard for a great time. They love our trampoline and spend many hours out there on it. Jumping, playing in the sprinklers, cloud watching, and cuddled up in blankets reading books to each other. One afternoon, Lauren asked if she and Evan could draw on the trampoline with their sidewalk chalk. I told her to go ahead, knock yourself out. Then I grabbed the camera.






This year, Lauren has discovered her love of bugs. I have posted a couple of examples of her buggy lovin' in the past. Most of the time, I think it is cute. I just don't like the one time she tried to rescue a grasshopper from a spider web. She brought the grasshopper in the house and tried, in vain, to nurse it back to health. She wouldn't let me put it outside. I had to wait until she went to bed to put the dead thing outside. In the morning, she was so excited that the grasshopper recovered and hopped away, I just couldn't tell her the truth. She loves to bring in all of her new creepy crawly friends in the house to show me, and urges me to "just pet it mommy." *shudder* Her latest "friends" was a group of caterpillars that she found on the underside of a leaf.



At least it wasn't a June Bug, which she tried to get me to hold one day. She loves all living things. I really think that one day, when she figures out where meat comes from, she might end up being the world's youngest vegetarian by choice. She is so sweet. But she is an even sweeter sister. Evan loves her. It doesn't matter what they are doing together, he is just in awe of all that she does. Her attention means the world to him.



Who knows what they are laughing at here, but they are in hysterics. That is just what they do. I feel lucky that they are such good friends. I am hoping that this friendship will follow them through out their lives. When I picked up Lauren today from school, they both wanted to go over to the Friendship park for a while. Because I was talking to a friend of mine I told them to walk over and I will be right there (fyi: you can totally see the park from the pick up zone at Lauren's school.) They held hands the whole way to the park and my friend asked if they were always like that. I felt so much love for them as I watched them walk hand in hand. And yes, they are always like that. They bicker and fight as siblings do, but they love each other so much and love to be around each other. I do feel so lucky to have the little ones that I do have.








Now, if you made it this far into this blog post, then you either have a real lack of reading material or you really truly care about the comings and goings of our little family. Either way, I am glad you stuck it out. I love my family and I am so proud of the way that they are growing up and growing together. I don't mind so much my kids getting older, just as long as the love we have for each other grows at the same rate.

Dear Lauren and Evan

Dear Lauren and Evan,

When I first saw the pink line, and when I first felt you move inside of me, when I first saw the flutter of your heart and heard the frantic beating of it like a speeding train, I knew I was hooked. People will tell you that the love you have for your child is not like any other love that exists. There is no way to describe it and no way to live with out it once you have felt it. People tell you that your whole life will change. People tell you that being a mother is the best thing and the toughest job you can ever imagine. And they were right.

But no one ever told me that I would stay up all night just to watch your chest rise and fall, marveling at the miracle that was formed inside of me. Or that the sound of your tears would move me so deeply. That your blue eyes are the most beautiful color I have ever known. No one told me that my long hair, which I use to spend hours on, would spend most days in a pony tail. And my nice clothes that I use to wear on a daily basis would find it's way to the back of my closet, replaced by a comfortable track suit and slippers that I wouldn't be embarrassed to run to wal mart in. Hey I might even make it onto one of those e mails of the wal mart people on of these days :).

No body told me that I would spend my days and nights with you in my thoughts. I would spend all day waiting for 8 o'clock to roll around, and then once you slept, watch your innocent face and think of all the ways that I can improve as a mother. No one told me that exhaustion and guilt would be my constant companions. No one told me that my alarm clock would be replaced by a little girl and a little boy who are wondering where there breakfast is. And that I would willingly give up watching my favorite shows so that you can watch yours. I know the theme songs and characters to Word World, Super Why, and Little Einsteins, but have lost track of the story line on Desperate Housewives.

People did say that having children changes your life, but no one ever went into specifics. It is a scary, and sometimes lonely road that we willingly travel down. Once we start on this journey of ours, once we realized the heartache and hardship that parenthood has to offer, we choose to make this journey again and again. I would rather have an illness or injury rather then watch you suffer through it. Because no one ever told us how the feather whisper of your child's breath on your face gives you the greatest peace this world has to offer. And when I hold you in my arms, I know I am holding a piece of heaven. No one told me how the feel of your little hands patting me on the back and the weight of your body sitting on my lap would be a gift that no price could be put on. Or that I am filled with pride when you learn your letters, numbers, colors. Your accomplishments become more important to me then my own. No one said that I would rather sit on the floor and play with cars then to go to the fanciest partys in creation. That when someone says "your daughter is beautiful" that it would mean more to me then if someone complimented me. Because to compliment my child is the greatest gift you can give me. No one said that the sound of your laughter would be more beautiful then the London Philharmonic Symphony or more soothing then the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach. And that my life would fill gratified by hearing three little words in your tiny voices..I love you. I wear the title of Mommy proudly. A title I would never have without you little monsters in my life! I love you more then words can express, because no one has ever come up with an adequate word to classify this kind of love.

Love Mommy

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." Or so says Dr.Seuss. And now my baby girl gets to have the ability to to expand her mind and go to school. I knew the time was coming and coming up fast, and here it is. She is now a full fledged Kindergartner. She love it, as I knew she would. I had a harder time letting her go then she did. I am so proud of my little school-goer. She has taken to kindergarten like a duck to water, every day regaling me with tales of her expanding knowledge. I am just so stunned that the same baby who sat in her 1st birthday cake to eat it because right in fount of her wasn't close enough for all of that deliciousness, is now in a land full of chalk dust and pencil shavings. For weeks before, all we heard was how she was going to start school soon, and what she was going to wear her first day, and wondering who she was going to sit by..you get the point. She woke up bright and early her first day full of anticipation and excitement. I, on the other hand, was holding back tears from the moment the alarm clock went off. But she looked so adorable and grown up. I really can't believe that this day has come.



Walking to school. Lucky for us, her school is just a couple of blocks away. I don't know how I would have been able to put her on a bus and wave good-bye. That would have been much harder on me. I got to walk with her the whole way, and have every morning since. I need to let go in stages, not all at once.

Here she is at her school.

And lining up with her class.

She loved her first day, and everyday after wards. I had read in a book once that the art of parenthood is learning to let go. You teach them good values and morals, you give them love and acceptance for the individuals that they are, and then you let go and hope what you taught them will stick. I know that I have years yet to truly fully let go, but I guess, to me, Kindergarten seems like step #1 in that process. I think she is a good girl and will be just fine in this new world of hers.

New Job!!!! Finally! And some Random Pics of our Summer

Chad has got a new job! We are so excited for him and I am very proud. I think he has done an amazing job providing for all of us. I have managed to not work almost all the years that we have been married. It only became necessary this year. I think that is pretty impressive. We have managed to buy a house, a couple cars, keep two kids fed and survive off of a salary that most college kids have. We have had so much help along the way. Especially in this most challenging year. I feel like we are one our way to becoming grown-ups. Finally, Chad has a grown up job! I also believe that through lots of prayers and faith, Chad was able to put himself out there, to have the courage to step of that cliff of security and take a giant leap into the unknown. This is a big thank you to those who have helped us along the way. To those friends who are known to us and also to those individuals whose generosity remains anonymous. I have my suspitions on who some of those anonymous angels could be, but how do you go up to some one and say.."hey, thanks for that huge gift card to Wal-Mart that you gave to us without signing your name. We couldn't have eaten that week with out it." You can't, so thank goodness for a blog. Hopefully they read this and know just how much their generousity has shaped our outlook on everything. Our compassionate and giving Bishop and Relif Society Presidant, and our wonderful home teachers were always there to give us encouragement as well as the occational grocery bags full of food. The Peterson's gave us a fridge out of there garage when they found out we were living without one for about 6 months prior. The Miller's, who they themselves don't have much, left a goodie bag full of treats for us. And then, of course, I can't forget the Edwards who not only were responsible for bringing my kids their Christmas, they also gave food, gift cards and a couple new coats for me. We got a box full of fun presants via our home teachers for Lauren's birthday, without wich she wouldn't have had something. (I know that I must be forgetting others who have helped, and if I have then I am so sorry. I am amazed still to this day of the boundless reach of others selflessness.) It is so humbling to not be able to give your kids the things that they need. I am grateful to all those who gave and filled in the gaps that we couldn't fill on our own. This experience has taught me to not look the other way. To give a what I can where I can. I feel like I will work the rest of my life to give back in others as the only way I can think to show all of these generous friends and family in my life that they have touched me. All I can do is pay it forward, so to speak, and I truely will do just that.

It has been such a long time since I have blogged!! I feel like I am totally neglecting it. When I have free time, which I have precious little of lately, I want to spend it playing with my kids instead of typing away at the computer. But I have commetted myself to blogging at least once a week. It is my way of writing down our family history. So here is some randomness of our summer...or at leat the month of July that I missed.

I worked both on the 4th and the 24th of July, so we didn't really have anytime to go and see fireworks at a park, so both nights we just bought a bunch from Wal-Mart and had our own little fire works show. Which I ended up really loving. I loved just being with my family. Work has tought me to appercate all the little things, like store bought fireworks, and a great show right in our own yard.




An other totally random thing, Lauren has become a bug whisperer!! Butterflies and Dragon Flies just come to her. It all started with the Butterfly garden that we got Lauren, and it has just grown from there. I have put up pictures of her holding (and kissing) snails before..gross..but she loves them so..whatever. Maybe she is hoping one of them will turn into a prince. Anyway, she has been spending the summer catching Dragon Flies. They are her new favorites. In one day, she has caught up to eight. She put them in a little jar and waited to show Chad when he came home from work before releasing them again.





...and away he goes...


On one of my days off, the week that Chad's Marketstar job ended and just before his job at the base began, we were able to make a trip to the zoo. It was a lot of fun. Warning: Lauren looks like a kid in these pictures..no more little girl. Where did the time go?





As is our little tradition, after we get done visiting all the animals, we get ice cream right at the top of the hill by the new cat exhibit. And, oh my gosh was it hot that day! The ice cream has become my favorite part of the whole zoo experince these past two years.

Evan really really loves his ice cream.

The way we figure it, the family that shares their Ice Cream together..stays together...



We had a lot of fun that day.


There is so much updating that I need to do. I am not sure if I will ever have the time to fully write down all that has been happening these past months. I mostly want to say thank you to every one..and am a lucky girl to have the family and friends I do have. I wake up every morning with graditude in my heart. I am greatful for all lifes trials that challenge me and all lifes gifts that bless me. I know that as long as I have Chad by my side and my kids have their health and active imaginations, I will always be on the right side of happiness.

Time Capsule

When I was in the 5th grade at good ol' Oquirrah Hills Elementry school, we made a time capsule. I am not sure what turned my thoughts to that time capsule last night, but I couldn't help but wonder if future little 5th graders actually opened and looked at our time capsule. I can't even remember what it is I put in there to define who I was at the age of 11. Most likely it was something like a New Kids on the Block poster or maybe a picture of Chad Allen ("pre-coming out of the closet") or Kurt Cammeron. What ever it was, I am sure it was very indicative of the '80s.

It got me wondering what I would put into a time capsule now. What defines me in the year of 2010? I wonder what I want the future to know about this time in my life. I could put in my name tag from McGrath's, but that is not who I am. I could tuck into the capsule a poem that I wrote or a picture that I drew. However, again, that doesn't really define me. Because as much as I love to sketch and write, that really isn't who I am. And to tell you the truth, I am not sure I really know the person I am because I am always learning and growing. I am an ever changing work in progress. I hope I never really do get to a point where I say that I have learned enough, read enough, and explored enough. I hope I am always surprised by life.

While I was pondering this conundrum (I love that word), I heard Lauren and Evan giggling in the back yard. I heard their gentle voices trickle and splash around all the corners of the backyard. I saw their little legs run around chasing Radley, our dog. I felt the wind on my face and the sun on my cheeks. As Evan ran into my arms, I smelled the fregrence of childhood and summer melt off his hair, and I felt his strong child arms encircle my neck. Then I heard the brakes of our Mazda Tribute squeal announcing that Chad was home from work. I heard the excited proclamations of my children yelling "Daddy's home," as they ran to meet Chad as he walked through the door. His own personal welcoming committee. And I felt his lips on mine as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

Modernism would say that you shouldn't loose yourself in your family. You should keep your individuality. I am an individual. I have my own interests and ideas. But in that short ten minutes of time, I found myself. I was in the smile on Lauren's face and in the enthusiams of Evan's laugh. I was in the arms of my husband and I was in the strong beat that is the heart of this family of mine. For wherever they are, that is where I want to be.

So how do I bottle all of that and place it in a time capsule? You really can't. You can't take that kind of love and archive it. It is ment to be lived and felt every day. It's purpose is not for future generations to study and disect. It is for the here and now. I am not sure how long this life of dirty dipers and snotty noses..of princess dresses and Buzz Lightyear..of "Mommy can I sleep in your bed." and "I made you a picture." will last. But I know that I don't want to place it in a box and put it on a shelf. I want to drink it in and bask in it's glow as long as I can. These are the things that define me. I am a mother and a wife. I am a feeler and a romantic. I have good days and bad ones too. But everyday I am surrounded by the people that I love madly and I am filled to the brim with graditude.

Butterfly Kisses

About a month or so ago, Chad and I got Lauren a live butterfly garden. It came in the mail with a little pop up home for your butterflys and two containers that held them in the larve stage. Lauren would wake up every morning to check on her butterflys. She watched with annicipation as the larve grow into catapillers. Soon we got to see those same catapillers construct their cocoons. It was really cool actually. Then finally, butterflys started to emerge from their cocoons. Lauren got to actually see one struggle out of one. Yesterday, about half of them were ready to be released. So we went to Buess Pond to let them free.

Hiking around the trails, trying to find the perfect place to release the butterflys.


This picture makes me think of Austin Powers! I can just hear Lauren saying. "I will only release this butterfly for ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS, muwa.hahaha!"




I love this picture of Evan! He cracks me up. I love the look he is giving Lauren! Like "what is she doing!?!"



After we release the last of the butterflys, we walked around Buess Pond for a while.






It was a great day. And to top it all off, it started to rain, and I love the rain.


I love my super cute family.