Look how far we've made it.

We beat the odds together! I am so glad we didn't listen, just look at what we would be missin'. Hey someone should write that down. It would make a good song. No seriously. We did beat the odds together-Chad and I. So many cards were staked against us, and we are still fighting those who say that we shouldn't be together. But I have laughed harder, loved stronger, cryed freer, and felt safer then with anyone ealse ever. If you believe in soul mates, then that is the only way I can discribe Chad and I. We need each other and we support each other. We started out in love and have become more and more in love each passing year. I am not always the nicest, and best wife that I could be. But Chad makes me want to continue in the hopes of becoming the best wife in creation. We have fought against lack of family support, health, finances, and so many other obsticals. He is the only one for me. I will take all of the obsticals I can to be able to sleep next to him for the rest of my life. When you look at Lauren and Evan, then how can you argue the fact that we shouldn't be together. Those two are proff positive that Chad and I are perfect for each other.



And look how our family has grown! I love my family. The sight of them makes my heart hurt. I would never have believe it possible to love so much. To be blessed enough to have all that I do have, it almost doesn't see fair. Look at my little babies faces. To love Chad and have him love me seems like a gift enough. But our kind of love is the gift that keeps on giving. I was given two very speacial children. There is no one like them anywhere at all. There is a little bit of me, a little bit of Chad and a whole lot of love.

So people in Beverly Hills, keep your millions and your mansions. I don't want them. I have it all. Priceless love that can not be bought or sold. Just cherished. And I do. Every second of everyday.

So I was at Wal-Mart about a month ago. (big surprise. I am there everyday. If you want to find me, you should check Wal-Mart!) Anyway, I ran into an old friend from high school! It was fun to see her. We exchanged numbers and did the whole "I'll call ya" thing. But we really did call and arrange a time to get together. It was fun! We went to the castle park with our kids. Her daughter Justine has almost the same personality as Lauren so they got along real well. We talked like no time has passed. Real good friends are hard to come by, so I am glad that we reconnected and I am hoping we will stay in touch.

Lauren and Justine. So cute.

A litte girl bonding time.

Ok, so I hate this picture of me, but it was really the only one that I had of all of us. Just a bad angle on my part. But this is of me (hello captin obvious), Lauren, Evan, my friend Corianne, her little girl Justine and her baby boy Orson. We had lots of fun. I so want to do it again.

9-11 times 7!

It was six in the morning. The smell of orange blossoms and chlorine wafted into my open window. My mind was still engaged in a wonderful dream that involved a beach and a good book. All the sudden there was a piecing ringing noise on the beach. That didn't make sense. Slowly, the ringing noise grew louder as the beach grew fainter. Then I was there, in my bedroom in California. It was way too early for me to open my eyes. My skin burned from the peircing sun at the beach the day before, one more reminder that I was in reality. I was just going to let the caller hang up. After all who really calls at 6 in the morning, unless someone is either dead or dying. That did it; I shot out of my horizontal position like a bullet from a gun. As I reached for the phone, I ran my tired fingers through my knotted hair. My eyes still were not all the way open.
"Hello,” My voice was thick with sleep.
"Melissa, turn on the TV” my mom's voice was frantic. "Is it Israel?" I asked. Referring to my Dad's wayward crazy brother. "Just turn on the TV". While still in bed, I searched the blankets for the little black remote. I turned on the television just in time to see the second plane hit the trade center. My mind whirled. What kind of crazy movie am I watching? I flipped through the stations but all that they were showing was the burning building and the planes. Over and over again the planes. Then I watched in a stunned silence as the first building crumbled throwing grey dust and debris into the air. Am I really watching this? Is this really happening? I couldn't wrap my mind around the shocking scene.
That was 7 years ago. Just like a time warp, a blink of an eye, a whirlwind, it is now history. It is part of our past. But just like Pearl Harbor was to our grandparents, and the JFK assassination was to our parents, it will always and forever be a part of our generation. Defining this era. I remember a space shuttle fall out of the sky, and the Berlin Wall crumbling. And I will always remember where I was and what I was doing when the towers fell. I probably couldn’t forget even if I wanted to. And here we are seven years later in the mist of a great election, a historical one in many ways. We are alive to see an African American run for president as well as a mother of 5 running for vice president. In a society where most the time, I feel out of control. Bad economy, oil crisis, education reforms, ect..all I read about in the news is pigs wearing lipstick. Where did the unity go that 9-11 gave us? Democrat or Republican, does it matter? We are Americans. I will always stand tall when I see the flag, and I still cry when I hear a crowd singing the national anthem. I hope for our future and I believe that people are mostly good. I remember where I was on that fateful day, and I remember the lessons I learned. Despite the school yard tactics that the Presidential candidates are resorting too, I have faith in the American sprit. America is not just a nationality, it is a way of life and an outlook that no other nation can claim. I lived for a time outside the United States. And it just made me more proud of my nationality. I am a patriot threw and threw. No one can take away my American Dream. Not a terrorist flying a plane, and not a crazy messed up Presidental election. I am what makes America good. The dream of a better life and the oppertunities to achevie those dreams. I am American, and so proud of it.

Yesterday we celebrated Carter and Evan's birthdays. Evan's little cousin Carter turned two on Sept.1st and Evan's birthday is on the 12th of September. I am stunned that it has been a year since he was born. If anyone easle is surprised, then I am baffled. The time has truly flown by. I love him so much. It is amazing how your heart grows every time you have a baby. It doesn't really divide, it grows. He is the cutest little man that I have ever seen. Happy Birthday my little Buddy boy. I love you so much.

Traci and Kevin did a good job putting it all together. All we really had to do was show up. They picked the park, put up the decorations, ordered the pizza, and just about everything ealse. The exciting thing is this time next year, carter will have a little brother. Traci is pregnate! I love little new babies in our family. Espeacially when it isn't me getting up at 2:00 A.M to fed him and rock him back to sleep.

Kari, John and Shari, Rylee, and Samantha.

Everyone (except Chad) watching carter open up his gifts. I am lucky to have Chad's family. I feel like they genuinly love me. Not like an in-law, but like family. I love his sisters, and in my heart I call them my own sisters. They have shown that there is no such thing as in-law when you talk about them.

Kari is such a good auntie. And the best presant of the whole night is the one that Kari and James gave us. Kari just announced that she has a little baby cooking in her tummy. As good as an auntie as she is, I know that she will be an even better mommy. Congradulations Kari! I am more excited for you then I can even tell you.

It was a great night. The only thing missing was James, Ryan Brittny and Jaden, and Billy. We miss them when they are not here and rejoice when they can come home and see them again. We love you guys and can't wait to see you again.

I love blogging!!

I love blogging. Everyday my little babies do things that make me smile. Normally, I would just think "oh thats cute" and file it away in my brain as a touching thing that they did. But because of blogging, I run to grab my camera to doccument the little things they do. It makes me see and apperciate the normal, everyday, typical, moments that make you go "Ahhh". My favorite is when Lauren will spontaniously start to play with Evan. She jumped into Evan's crib when he woke up from a nap to play with him. To make it real fun, I throw Radley into the mix. I just sat back and watched my little family. The musical sound of their laughter harmonizing. It really was so percious. I made them. I can't get over that amazingly ordinary miracle. Babies are born everyday, and yet I am stunned everytime I look at Lauren and Evan.

I found my answers

Again with my mom. Ahhh! But actually this is good. For years now I have been praying that I would be able to have a family dinner with my mom, brother and sisters as well as my husband and little kids. It seems like a reasonalbe request. Something that I think that most take for granted. I yearn to walk into my mom's house "just because" with Evan on my hip and Lauren trailing behind me and Chad holding open the door for me. I use to imagine Evan's first birthday, Lauren's baptism, and verious other milestones in my children's life. The thought that my mom, the woman who gave me life, would not be there, would just tear me up inside. She wasn't there when Lauren turned one,or when Evan was born, and she won't be there when Evan dives into his birthday cake for the first time in his life either. Sobs would actuallly rake through my body at the idea of all the lost time in the past as well as the future. Naturally, ever the book reader that I am, I turned to the written word to try and make heads or tails of our topsy-turvy relationship. The first book I came across soon after I lost contact with my mom was East, Pray, Love.

I can't really tell you what about the book helped me deal with my mom. I guess, there is a part in the book where she desperatly wants to talk to her ex-husband. She wants closure, the finally conversation they never were able to have. She realizes that she never will be able to. So she on her own released herself from any guilt or pain she was feeling and left it in the past. She no longer wanted that part of her life to continue to dictact the rest of her life. After reading that I knew that I had to start to let go. That knowledge and the action of it are two seperate things however. I don't want my mom to continue to have some kind of control over me.But you see, I still wanted her unconditional love and her approval. I started to realize that my longed for dream might just be that. I don't see how it would be possible to have birthdays, thanksgiving, Or Christmas with my mom and my family in that Normal-Rockwell-ish image in my mind. My prayers changed. I couldn't pray that we will end up in a christmas card like scene anymore. There is always the issue of free agency. No matter how much I desire it, my mom and my brother and sister still have their free agency. So instead I started to pray that I would understand why. I don't understand how a mother could turn her back on her child over a princible. How that princible is more important then the relationship. It just seemed to me like it went against anything that is maternal. Then a week after my prayers changed, I got a new book. sTori Telling.

I Know what your thinking. Seriously! sTori Telling? Come on. But I really like her reality show. I think I relate to the whole "my mom and I have no real relationship" aspect of the show. So for fun, I got her book. Again, I am a book reader and I love to read. As I was reading, I began to realize that my mom and her mom are the same person. (notwithstanding the billions of dollars) I felt a little releaved that there are other mothers out there like mine. I am not an isolated case. I use to think that there must be something wronge with me to have a mom, in essence, reject me. It is worse then the most unhealthy break-up from a guy. If your own mother rejects you then what does that say about you? If Tori Spelling could have a messed up relationship with her mom, then I could to. But there was still the not understanding part, and the irrational fear that Lauren and I would have a horrible mother-daughter relationship as well part to deal with. Then my Dad's wife bought me a book for my birthday. How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealilng with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities.

This book is bringing me some answers and understanding. It is like he took my mom as a case study for this book. I have had so many "Oh my gosh" moments while reading it. I understand now why I don't have uncondional love and acceptance from my mom. She can't give it. She uses it to control, as an inticement or reward for doing what she wants the way she wants it. I realized in reading this book that I grew up in that kind of enviorment. This hasn't happened in the last three years, it has been on going my whole life. I also know now that I will have a good relationship with my little girl. I feel like I understand and I accept it too. I feel at peace now. There is nothing I could have done to change this outcome except do it her way. And her way was to divorce my husband. There is nothing wronge with me, I am a good person, and I am in control of my life. It doesn't mean that I won't have hard days. I am sure that I will always hate mother's day and the month of April. I still might tear up every now and then when I see mothers and daughters shopping in the mall. But for now, understanding breeds a certin amount of peace. So, thank you Dr.Lund, Elizabeth Gilbert, and yes, even Tori Spelling. I have no given up on my "Norman Rockwell painting" scenerio, but it does not torment me anymore. I am happy with the little life and family I have created. Maybe it is with my kids and there kids where I will see my dream realized. I don't need answers now. Because I feel peace.

No-Labor, Labor day.

While everyone ealse in Utah was boating or hiking, we were sleeping. While everyone ealse was roasting marshmellows or visiting with family, we were being lazy. Yes the good ol' Triplett tradion on Labor day did not go unobserved. We take our holiday very seriously. We try very hard to refrain from all types of Labor if at all possible on labor day. Its a personal choice. I think that we accomplished it very well. I am quit proud of our vast laziness. We did good I think. I read a book all day while Chad played is computer games. Lauren and Evan took turns playing, sleeping and whining. And as bed time for the babies came around, we were all surprised that all day long we didn't hardly move, except were nessisary. Oh it was a great slothful day.