Funny Lauren!!

Every day, Lauren opens her mouth and says something that is so funny. I wrote down just a couple of her highlights and thought that I would share them.

Lauren and I were playing. I would say I am happy, and smile real big. She would do the same. We went through most of the emotions, sad, happy, laughing, scared....when I got to sad.
Me:Lauren, I am so sad. (I am exagerating a frown).
Lauren: (cupping my face into her tiny little hands) No mommy, daddy is not mad at you.

Lauren and Chad were playing on our bed one morning. Chad will pop the kids toes every now and then when he is playing around. Chad:I am going to pop your toes Lauren

Lauren: NOO DADDY!! My toes are not bubbles!!

Ok so, I know that have more funny things that she has said, but I just can't think of them right now. I had about five things. But, of course, since I am trying to write them down, my mind is blank. But you get the idea, Lauren says funny things. I love her and her tiny voice and her funny logic. I love my baby girl.

I love words!!

I am in love with words. As long as I can remember, from the time that I was a child, I have always loved words. When I hear a new one, I say it over and over again, getting the feel of it on my tounge. I use it through out the day untill it has become a part of me. Ubiquitous! Verisimilitude! Bilk! And Tom Cruse's favorite, Glib! I love how words can change the world around us, and how they live on long after the author of those words has turned to dust. "Give me Liberty or give me death!" "Let them eat Cake!" "It wasn't me, it was the one armed man!" Words can tear your heart out and cut you to the core the way that a sword never could. They can also change your life and make you cry tears of joy. "Will you marry me?" "It's a girl/Boy!" And my personal favorite, "I love you." I am a collector of words. Book shelves in my home are covered with works by Dumas, Hugo, and even Tolstoy. When I open a book, it is like coming home, no matter where I am at. Sometimes, they aren't so flattering. Like the time I lost control on a hill during the winter time on my way to the gym. I taught Lauren a new phrase that day "Oh S!#T". To show me how smart she is and how quick she learns, she proceeded to repeat that phrase over and over again in a sing-song voice all the way to the nursery. I was just praying the whole time that either A) she would move on to something ealse to say or B) No one would understand her little toddler voice. Ironicly, her first word was Diaper. It has always been a dream of mine, since I learned the word author, to become one. I can't think of a more enjoyable way to earn money then to tell people your thoughts and get paid for it!! That will never happen. I have no degree or conections. But I have found an outlet for the words that build up inside of me screaming to get out, my blog. I have decided to write a weekly collume on the mussings I have in life. Be it about being a wife and mother, or maybe even thoughts on world events. I would love to have people feel like they are not alone in their struggles. No ones life is perfect. The perfect man, children, job, house, or hair only exsits in novels. If walls could talk, people would see that everyone has a messy life. Maybe through words, I could fulfill my dream of touching someones heart and letting them know that I understand. And if I don't understand, maybe through my words, they would know that-at the very least-I care so much.

Zoo Day

I love love love the rain!!! I love how the colors seem bighter and the air smells clean. It feels so good to let the rain fall on your face. I feel like a kid again when it is a rainy day. I can't help myself but to want to run around outside splashing in puddles, letting my hair fall into dreads of wetness. So imagine my delight when I woke up on memorial day and realized that the forcaste was all rain all day. There was only one course of action. Buddle up the kiddies and play all day in the rain. Most people would shy away from a day at the zoo on a day like yesterday. But not the Triplett clan. It was a perfect day. The animals apperently love the rain too. They were out and about playing. We had a very nice memorial day. I had to share it. Here are some pictures of my little animals at the zoo. Evan's little smile lights up the whole cloudy sky. He was laughing as the rain drops fell on his face. I had to take a picture. One well-meaning lady told me that I should cover him up so that he wouldn't get wet. But how can I deny such a boy his joy in the rain.
Lauren and I looking at the Elephants. It makes me very proud and just a little bit sad to see how much she is growing. It makes me understand that her childhood is short. I want to hold each smile and laugh close to my heart. I wonder wear all the time has gone.
I love being a family of four. It is wild and caotic. I never have a moment to myself. Forget about my hair being done. I lost all forms of vanity when I became a mom. But look at my little family. Who could ask for anything more?
What can I say about this one. They are just full of innocess and happiness. I am honored to be there mom. (Lauren 3yrs, Evan is 8 months)

I hate Monther's Day

Thank goodness this over comercialized holiday is over. Can you really say that it is a holiday? Don't you still have to do the dishes and arn't you still the last one sitting at the table for dinner, only to get up again two seconds later because someone droped there fork or needs more water? Isn't it still you that puts the bows in the hair and ties the little baby boy ties for church? The real reason I hate mothers day has nothing to do with pasta necklaces and carnation flowers. I just shut down this time of year. (hence the no posts for a little over a month). But I survived. One month and two emotional break downs later, I am still here. I forged through the storm and made it out on the other side. One day it won't hurt me so much to see mothers and daughter's shopping in the mall, or hear someone refer to their mom as there best friend. Mother's day is more then celebrating your own mother, and that is what I have to remember and focus on. It is also celebrating the gift of being a mother. Every tear I wipe and ever skined knee I clean means so much. Motherhood is not a fairytale, and anyone who tells you it is, they are just taking there ADHD son's ritalin. It is more tiring then running a marathon with only one leg, more emotonal then a Brittny Spear's break down. And at the same time it is more tedius (at times) then watching grass grow. It is hard to imagine a occupation that demands more. When all you do all day long is watch Seaseme Street and read Fancy Nancy, it is so easy to get down on yourself and feel like you are making no difference, have no recognizeable accomoplishments on your resume, and feel just plain invisable. But that is not the case. What we do as moms for our little babies is amazing. We are building human beings. A process that doesn't happen over night. Hopefully these human beings that we are building will become active contributing members of society and not society's deliquents. Every bolt on the brooklyn bridge is nesessary. Every weld, no matter how small, was needed to create an engering marvle. Just as every hug and kiss, every time-out and chastisment, and every mac and cheese lunch and bagle bites dinner is nesessary. I don't need anyone to look at all I do and say, 'Wow, you are amazing, you are a good mom'. I don't need someone to tell me that I works so hard. All I need is for my little pixie-of-a-daugter, Lauren and my meaty little man, Evan, to grow up and call me their mother-their friend. I want to see that what I am building right now will one day grow up and likewise, build other human beings. I want nothing but happiness for my little monkeys. I want them to know that it is them that has made my life full of undiscribable meaning and never ending happiness. I love my babies. And that is my update.

Tagged

I have gotten a couple of tags, so here I go. I'll do Molly's first.
1. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was in Russia with the ILP program. In April is when the UN bombed Kosavo wich is a slavic nation. Russia is like kosovo's big brother. So tentions were high at the time. Russia was talking about retaliation and there was a possiblity that they would close the borders. So it was pritty tense there. But I still loved it. The members of the church were so sweet and there testimonies were very simple and pure. My friends there rallied around us and tryed to let us know that they loved all of us. It was a hard time, but such a wonderful time at the same time.
2.Five things on your to do list today-Laundry, clean house, get a new stove (yeah for me!!!), make Evan's baby food, and try and get through at least one chapter of my book. Wish me luck on that last one.
3.Snacks I enjoy-I really don't snack much. I love dried apricots and dried bananas though.
4.What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire? We would divy up the money between us and all of our family. It is no use being rich if all of your family is struggling for some money. Then I would buy a house in the Pacific Palacaids (gotta love Malibu). I would also start a foundation to help little kids in russia. Because of Charanoble, kids are being born with holes in there hearts and the familys don't have the money to pay for them. I would set up a foundation were I would try and help as many kids as I can get a patch for the holes in there hearts. Can you tell that I have thought of this before?
5. 3 bad habbits-I crack my knuckles, bite my toothbrush, and I talk to much when I take excedrine.
6. 5 places that I have lived: Morgan, Utah; Perm, Russia; St.George, Utah; Calabasas, Ca; and So. Ogden, Utah.
7.5 jobs I have had: I have been a waitress at Taggets through high school, a baker (that sucked), a nanny in Malibu, and then a mom. I havn't had 5 jobs. But if you count all I have to do as a mom, then I have like a million and one jobs.
8.5 things people don't know about me. I hate Malts, but I love Malt Balls. My mind automatically associates everything with something ealse. I can't help it, I just do it. Consequently I say alot of random things that makes sence to me but come out of nowhere for everyone ealse. I use to be in love with Jordan Knight form New Kids on the Block when I was eight years old. I even had the Jordan Knight Barbie doll. When we go out to eat, I always end up wanting what Chad ordered. (He always trades me meals, what a good guy, eh?) And, in public I am way shy and Chad does most of the talking, but at home I can't shut up and all Chad says is , "um hum", and the occationsal "oh nice."
Now I tag, Nikki, Kelly, Tiffany, and Rachel. Have at it girls!!

Chasing my Shadow.

When I was a little girl, I would run from my shadow. My shadow would always be just one step behind me. If I jumped right, my shadow would jump with me. If I crouched down, my shadow would do likewise. I could never out run, or out wit my shadow. So I would turn the tables and chase the sucker. But instead of being on step behind me, my shadow seemed to be one step ahead of me. I soon found out that I could neither run from or chase my shadow. But if I just sat still, it would sit beside me. When I wasn't chasing or hiding, it was there.

It was just a childish game I would play, but as I grew, I chased and ran from something that, like my shadow I could not catch nor run from. I was alway just one step behind or ahead of it. I ran all the way to Russia trying to hide from it and I swam in the cold waters at the beaches in sunny California trying to catch it. It took me a long time to figure out that happiness could not be caught, nor could you run from it, or hide from it. You have to sit still long enough to see the small and simple things that when you run around are just a fuzzy blur. Things like the sound of my childrens laughter or the look in Chad's eyes when he is trying not to laugh at something I did. It could be the smell of summer on Lauren's skin or the dimples that crease in Evan's chubby hands. It is coming home after a long trip away and the cold of the sheets as you first crawl into bed. Happiness is not measured in dollars and cents, degrees and acalaides, but in love and devotion, smiles and yes, even the tears. For a long time, I didn't love myself enough to let happiness sit down beside me. I wasted years running and hiding, chasing and hunting. Then one day, I looked in the mirror and saw someone looking back at me that, to my surprise, I found out I actually liked. Then I sat down. Pritty soon, Chad came along and sat with me. Not long after that, Lauren and then Evan joined. I love my life, my family, but more importantly, I love myself.

My "Sophie's Choice"....

What would you do if you had to make a choice. One choice, you would loose your mother and brother and sisters, never to hear the tenor of their voice again. The other choice sits your husband and your little baby girl. And then there is you stuck in the middle, surrounded by people yet in a vast dark cavern in which you see no way out. No one in this situation will walk away happy. No matter what choice you make, the wake of that decision would breed heartache. I am talking about my Sophie's Choice moment. Amid an argument in my parents house in Morgan two and a half years ago, my mom presented me with that choice. If I tryed to make it work with my husband, the father of my child, the man I was sealed to for time and all eternity-if I went back to my husband's house, then my mom could no longer be there to support me. There was no happy ending, no life-altering lesson with soon to be out of date pop music playing in the background as the frayed edges became smooth. Life is not an episode of Dawson's Creek. There sometimes is no easy, clear answer. That moment, that day, something inside of me broke. And every doctor will tell you that if you break a bone and don't treat it, it can lead to a poisionous infection. I went to Chad and we ignored the festering broken bone. I would still try to be the bridge. I prayed everynight that next year for thanksgiving, next year for christmas, (or whatever holiday it happened to be,) that I will be able to sit down with all my family around me. Holding my husbands hand and laughing at some joke while in the living room at my parents home. But I wasn't allowed to bring Chad by or even mention his name. I wasn't allowed to try and explain certin curcumstances that had brought us to this point. I was being further pushed along to a resoultion that ment that I had to cut off the infected limb that housed that broken part of me. It was poisioning me and my relationships. I was tired of being in the middle of a tug of war. A year ago today was the last time that I talked to my mom. I cry and I hurt. I sometimes feel guiltly but I mostly feel sad. I do feel rejected. Like the ultimate rejection. How could a mother NOT support and uplift there daugter when she feels the lowest and the weakest, just because she is going to make a dession that she didn't agree with. I look at my lovely little Lauren. She has the exact same color of eyes as I do. She crosses her legs when she reads her books. She snores as loud as an old man! She is three and I am her world. She could do anything in this world, anything at all, and she would never loose my support. I don't always have to agree with the decisions that she makes, but Iwill always support my daughter because I love her and I am her mother. When we asked what my mom wanted for us when we grew up, all she would tell us is that she wants us to be happy. I am happy. I have a man who looks at me in a way that makes the pit of my stomache tighten. He has given me a life, a love, a home, a daughter and a son. I have all that I have ever wanted. My mom has never met Evan. It has taken me a while to realize tha mom doesn't always know best. All I can do is work on my family that I have created-Chad,Lauren, and Evan-and hope that one day she will realize, see and at least try to understand.