Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I hate Monther's Day

Thank goodness this over comercialized holiday is over. Can you really say that it is a holiday? Don't you still have to do the dishes and arn't you still the last one sitting at the table for dinner, only to get up again two seconds later because someone droped there fork or needs more water? Isn't it still you that puts the bows in the hair and ties the little baby boy ties for church? The real reason I hate mothers day has nothing to do with pasta necklaces and carnation flowers. I just shut down this time of year. (hence the no posts for a little over a month). But I survived. One month and two emotional break downs later, I am still here. I forged through the storm and made it out on the other side. One day it won't hurt me so much to see mothers and daughter's shopping in the mall, or hear someone refer to their mom as there best friend. Mother's day is more then celebrating your own mother, and that is what I have to remember and focus on. It is also celebrating the gift of being a mother. Every tear I wipe and ever skined knee I clean means so much. Motherhood is not a fairytale, and anyone who tells you it is, they are just taking there ADHD son's ritalin. It is more tiring then running a marathon with only one leg, more emotonal then a Brittny Spear's break down. And at the same time it is more tedius (at times) then watching grass grow. It is hard to imagine a occupation that demands more. When all you do all day long is watch Seaseme Street and read Fancy Nancy, it is so easy to get down on yourself and feel like you are making no difference, have no recognizeable accomoplishments on your resume, and feel just plain invisable. But that is not the case. What we do as moms for our little babies is amazing. We are building human beings. A process that doesn't happen over night. Hopefully these human beings that we are building will become active contributing members of society and not society's deliquents. Every bolt on the brooklyn bridge is nesessary. Every weld, no matter how small, was needed to create an engering marvle. Just as every hug and kiss, every time-out and chastisment, and every mac and cheese lunch and bagle bites dinner is nesessary. I don't need anyone to look at all I do and say, 'Wow, you are amazing, you are a good mom'. I don't need someone to tell me that I works so hard. All I need is for my little pixie-of-a-daugter, Lauren and my meaty little man, Evan, to grow up and call me their mother-their friend. I want to see that what I am building right now will one day grow up and likewise, build other human beings. I want nothing but happiness for my little monkeys. I want them to know that it is them that has made my life full of undiscribable meaning and never ending happiness. I love my babies. And that is my update.

4 comments:

Wilson said...

I really enjoy reading your blogs! They're insightful, thought-provoking, and relatable.

It's good to see your family doing so well (I know you don't need anyone to tell you that, though). Keep up the great work, and tell your husband 'howdy' from me. I know we never really hung out or anything, but I really admired him.

-Wilson

Unknown said...

You are an amazing mom.I've see you in action. It is easy to get down on yourself sometimes, when things get tough. One night I was feeling particularly inadequate, and reading "Goodnight Moon" to Taylor. I came to the part where it said "Goodnight Nobody", and almost felt like crying. As if I was "nobody". But the next day I snapped out of the funk (and the PMS) and knew that THIS is the most important work on the face of the earth, and we wouldn't trade it for anything.

Michelle said...

You are a great mom Melissa! I also love reading your blogs! You should write a book, you're a great writer!

Tiffany said...

PLEASE don't ever stop blogging!! I look forward to reading it every time I get on! You hit motherhood right on the nose on this one. I can't even tell you how much you help and inspire me through your words. You truely have a gift (one that I lack completely) and I am so grateful that you share it with people like me who have to get it from someone other than themselves!! Thanks again so much!