Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Time Capsule

When I was in the 5th grade at good ol' Oquirrah Hills Elementry school, we made a time capsule. I am not sure what turned my thoughts to that time capsule last night, but I couldn't help but wonder if future little 5th graders actually opened and looked at our time capsule. I can't even remember what it is I put in there to define who I was at the age of 11. Most likely it was something like a New Kids on the Block poster or maybe a picture of Chad Allen ("pre-coming out of the closet") or Kurt Cammeron. What ever it was, I am sure it was very indicative of the '80s.

It got me wondering what I would put into a time capsule now. What defines me in the year of 2010? I wonder what I want the future to know about this time in my life. I could put in my name tag from McGrath's, but that is not who I am. I could tuck into the capsule a poem that I wrote or a picture that I drew. However, again, that doesn't really define me. Because as much as I love to sketch and write, that really isn't who I am. And to tell you the truth, I am not sure I really know the person I am because I am always learning and growing. I am an ever changing work in progress. I hope I never really do get to a point where I say that I have learned enough, read enough, and explored enough. I hope I am always surprised by life.

While I was pondering this conundrum (I love that word), I heard Lauren and Evan giggling in the back yard. I heard their gentle voices trickle and splash around all the corners of the backyard. I saw their little legs run around chasing Radley, our dog. I felt the wind on my face and the sun on my cheeks. As Evan ran into my arms, I smelled the fregrence of childhood and summer melt off his hair, and I felt his strong child arms encircle my neck. Then I heard the brakes of our Mazda Tribute squeal announcing that Chad was home from work. I heard the excited proclamations of my children yelling "Daddy's home," as they ran to meet Chad as he walked through the door. His own personal welcoming committee. And I felt his lips on mine as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

Modernism would say that you shouldn't loose yourself in your family. You should keep your individuality. I am an individual. I have my own interests and ideas. But in that short ten minutes of time, I found myself. I was in the smile on Lauren's face and in the enthusiams of Evan's laugh. I was in the arms of my husband and I was in the strong beat that is the heart of this family of mine. For wherever they are, that is where I want to be.

So how do I bottle all of that and place it in a time capsule? You really can't. You can't take that kind of love and archive it. It is ment to be lived and felt every day. It's purpose is not for future generations to study and disect. It is for the here and now. I am not sure how long this life of dirty dipers and snotty noses..of princess dresses and Buzz Lightyear..of "Mommy can I sleep in your bed." and "I made you a picture." will last. But I know that I don't want to place it in a box and put it on a shelf. I want to drink it in and bask in it's glow as long as I can. These are the things that define me. I am a mother and a wife. I am a feeler and a romantic. I have good days and bad ones too. But everyday I am surrounded by the people that I love madly and I am filled to the brim with graditude.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Butterfly Kisses

About a month or so ago, Chad and I got Lauren a live butterfly garden. It came in the mail with a little pop up home for your butterflys and two containers that held them in the larve stage. Lauren would wake up every morning to check on her butterflys. She watched with annicipation as the larve grow into catapillers. Soon we got to see those same catapillers construct their cocoons. It was really cool actually. Then finally, butterflys started to emerge from their cocoons. Lauren got to actually see one struggle out of one. Yesterday, about half of them were ready to be released. So we went to Buess Pond to let them free.

Hiking around the trails, trying to find the perfect place to release the butterflys.

This picture makes me think of Austin Powers! I can just hear Lauren saying. "I will only release this butterfly for ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS, muwa.hahaha!"

I love this picture of Evan! He cracks me up. I love the look he is giving Lauren! Like "what is she doing!?!"

After we release the last of the butterflys, we walked around Buess Pond for a while.

It was a great day. And to top it all off, it started to rain, and I love the rain.

I love my super cute family.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Lets go to the movies..

Last night, I decided to go to the movies. I think the last movie Chad and I saw together was Avatar. We don't have a lot of opportunity to get out much. I have been wanting to take Evan to go see his first movie in a theater, so we just decided to do it. We went to see Sherk. I wanted to save his first movie for Toy Story 3 to come out since he is obsessed with Buzz Lightyear. We can't get through a day where he doesn't say "To fin-de-de and BE-yawn" at least once an hour. But I didn't know when we would get an other opportunity to go. So Sherk it was. And I like Shrek, so it was a win-win for the whole family.

Evan gets nervous about new things. He wouldn't go into the theater without crying at first. We had to coax him in. But once he figured out that the movie theater has a really big T.V, he was all good.

Both Lauren and Evan really enjoyed the movie, and overall I think Evan did a good job for being 2. He got up and walked around a couple of times, but he was very quiet and got the concept of whispering very well. When Shrek first went to look for Fiona, Evan kept saying "Oh no. Where ee-o-na at?" So cute! When it was over, Lauren said she liked it but is was a little scary in some parts. When we asked her what was scary about it she said "When Sherk lost his kids and his true love. That made me sad for him." I thought that was sweet.

I love my cute kids! When we got home it was 8, and their bed time. I was trying to get them ready for bed at the same time that I was making Chamomile Tea for Chad and I. I put some water in the microwave and, not thinking, I walked away to get some other things done (I am a mom, there fore I multi-task). All of the sudden, we heard this chilling scream. A high pitched scream that I have never heard from anyone of my cute kids. And Lauren came running in. She was screaming and histarically trying to explain what was wrong. Chad and I soon figured out that she had grabed the hot water from the microwave and had burned herself. We turned on the water in the kitchen sink and ran some room temp water over it until she seemed to calm down a bit. She kept crying "I am having such a bad night!"..and at one point she let us know "My hand feels like a shark bit it." We gave her some acedamediphine and her beloved teddy bear. And then we put some Olive oil on it (Olive oil isn't like other oils, it heals. It actually slows down the burning process. If you ever get a bad sunburn, slather on olive oil and the next day it will be gone. No joke. Take it from me, I am a red head.) Then she asked if she could watch Alice in Wonderland..again! If she wasn't so heartbreakingly cute and in so much pain, I would have told her no way since I had already seen it that day about 4 times. (And as I sit here writing this, it is on again. She loves that movie).

All things considered, we were very lucky. She didn't even blister. It could have been such a bad burn. My sweet neice had hot boiling water spill on her arm when she was younger then Lauren and had to have skin grafts. Today, Lauren is running around like nothing happened. Thank goodness. I didn't like hearing her gut wrenching crys and her proclamations that "it feels like my bones are on fire." (yes, she really talks like that.) So that is the highlights and lowlights of June 8th. I am super glad that for today, the lowlight is now just a memory.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Nails, Pets and Flowers

I have been realizing latly just how fast Lauren is growing up. I have been wanting to do speacial things with her that is just "our thing". Anyone who know our little Laruen knows just how girly she is. So I thought that it would be fun for us to get our nails done together and then it could end up being our thing, because it is something that she might enjoy as she gets even older then she is now. She loved it! She noticed while we were there that people were coming in for pedicures too. When we were done, she asked me if we could get our toes done. I think I might take her next week to do that. I just miss my little girl while I am at work. I know some people might think she is to young for all of this primping and stuff, but it isn't about the whole "getting nails done" thing. For me, and for her, it is all about the one on one time we get to have together.

You can totally see how pail I am. Lauren loves her nails and wouldn't let me hold her hand for a while because she didn't want to mess up her "pretty nails". One of the things I love so much about Lauren is her diverse intrests. She is very girly and just loves all of the disney pricesses, but she loves Coraline and 9 just as much. She is really loving the show Stardust right now, but will ask to watch Willie Wonka (the one with Johny Depp) right after it.

She loves cuddly furry bunnies, but she also will adopt a snail from our back yard and carry it around all day long. When Chad and I realize just how much she loves these slimy little creatures, we thought that she would also love a hermit crab. So when Chad got off of work, Lauren and I went down to Pets'mart to "look" at the animals. I didn't want to tell her what we were doing. I wanted to surprise her. And plus, I wanted to see how she reacted to the hermit crabs to determine weather or not we would actually get one for her.

Here we are before leaving. All she knows is that we are going to go hang out at the mall together. Just us girls, as she put it. No boys allowed. When we got to pets'mart, she fell in love with the crabs. She also wanted a lizard and a frog. I told her just one creepy pet at a time.

(talking on the phone to daddy, trying to decide wich one she loved the most. She told Chad on the phone that she will be the "manager" of her crab.)
Lauren picked out a biggest one and named it "Shiney". Evan got a kicked out of it too, although he is not allowed to touch it. I am certin that Evan will survive a hermit crab pinch, but I am not so sure that a hermit crab will survive a nice little squeeze from Evan.

We went to Cafe Rio after to pick up some dinner. I can not pass up the call for a barbracoa pork burrito-enchalada style. I am a slave to Cafe Rio. Lauren had to carry Shiney with her everywhere.

(Lauren holding Shiney)

(Checking out Shiney and Shiney's new home)

Shiney entertained us for a good hour or so. After we set her up in Lauren's room and started to eat our dinner from Cafe Rio, we got a call from Kari (Chad's sister). Chad's mom, sisters and brother were going over to the cemetary to put flowers on Chad's grandparents grave.

(Chad and Evan)

(Kari and Lincoln)

(Shari, Lauren, D.J and Evan)

(Lauren and D.J decorating their grave with pine cones and wild flowers)
When I was pregnate with Lauren, we didn't even know if we were having a little girl or a little boy yet. We went to Chad's grandpa's grave to put flowers on it. I had been thinking for a while that I would love to name our baby after family members so that they could have a name that has a speacial meaning, and not just something that we picked out of a baby names book. As I was standing next to Chad with his arms around me, I felt very sure that our first born little boy should have the name of Evan after Chad's grandpa ( James Evan Sphar). I told that to Chad and he agreed. We soon found out after that we were having a little girl and not a boy, but from that day in the cemetary, our son was named. When saw on the sonagram that Evan was a boy, the first thing I said was "Hi Evan." He name was and always has been Evan. And I think that he wears that name that has so much love and meaning, very well.

Weather we are putting flowers on a long gone loved ones grave, or buying a creepy crawling pet, or getting our nails done..the most important central thing is family. As long as I have my family around me, I am rich beyond measure.